How Am I Supposed To Live Without You {Ashton}

[mitchell]

Friday, 9th October, 2009

It had been just over two months, almost three, since Mitchell had lost his wife Heather. She died giving birth to his gorgeous daughter Erin. Now they say it gets easy with time, and maybe Mitchell still had a bit of time left to grieve, but when you're a father to a small child who is dependent on you, there is little time for grieving. At least that's what you would think. Unfortunately for Mitch, Heather's death affected him really badly, she was only twenty eight, she was too young to die. Life seemed unfair. Mitch, who at thirty two and a successful writer couldn't take it anymore.

He had called his mum, to see if they would like to come over, more so they could help with Erin, until he got back on his feet, but she told him his father who had been suffering a series of heart attacks, had just had another one, and there was no way they could get away, so basically Mitch was all alone. There was only one other person in his life, who he could count on for support, and whom he loved dearly as a friend, and that was Ashton Summit.

Now, here he was, with a young child of his own, a book due to the publishers in the next couple of weeks, and he had been tearing his hair out on a daily basis for the past week. He was once more sitting at his computer, he had about four chapters to go to finish the novel, something he could have done in a matter of a few days, but now he had been sitting at the computer, at the same place for the past two months, more or less since Heather had died. Once more, the words already written were swimming around the screen, his concentration completely gone.

Then as if on cue, just as he got his fingers on the keys to try and type up something, Erin began to cry hysterically. He sighed, as he stood up, went to her nursery and picked her up. She was a gorgeous little bundle of joy really, the spitting image of her mother, which in itself was harrowing for Mitch. He cradled her to himself, and began bopping her up down. "What's wrong with my little princess huh?" However, the bopping around wasn't helping as she continued to cry loudly. "Alright, princess needs a change huh?" He placed her on the changing mat, and soon had her nappy off, but it was only a wet nappy. Minutes later she was back in his arms, with a clean nappy on and she was still crying.

"What's wrong with you princess?" He went into the kitchen and immediately placed one of the bottles he had made earlier into a pot of water and began heating it gently. After a couple of minutes and testing it on the back of his hand, he felt it was the right temperature, and began to feed her. However, she just started playing around with the bottle teat and soon milk was dripping down her chin. Mitch took it away and tossed it onto the sofa, he had more or less given up. She continued to cry.

"Bloody hell child, what the hell is wrong with you huh? You missing your mummy? Well I miss her too you know, and every time I look at you I can see her. It's hell, have you any idea what it does to me?" His voice was loud and all it did was make Erin cry all the more, and he immediately felt guilty. "I'm sorry." He gently placed her into her playpen and still she continued to cry loudly. Mitch was going out of his mind. In desperation he called his mum.

Mitch: I don't know what's wrong with her, she won't stop crying.
Margaret: Have you fed her?
Mitch: I've tried, she won't take it.
Margaret: Have you changed her nappy?
Mitch: Tried that too, it wasn't even a dirty one.
Margaret: Tried winding her?
Mitch: Not tried that mind you.

Keeping the phone to his ear, he bent down, picked up Erin and began rubbing her back. Nothing.

Mitch: Nothing's happening.
Margaret: Maybe she's just missing her mummy son.
Mitch: Aye, well she's not the only one.
Margaret: I know that my darling. You have to try and stay strong for her.
Mitch: How's dad doing? Any chance of you being able to get over yet?
Margaret: I'm sorry son, no chance. He's going into surgery tomorrow for a bypass.
Mitch: It's alright mum, I'll figure something out. Take Care, love you, bye.
Margaret: Love you too son. Take care of yourself and that little angel. Bye.

Mitch threw the handset down onto the sofa with such a force, it bounced off and crashed onto the floor, making Erin cry all the more. Mitch put her back down into the playpen and then went to the mantelpiece and picked up the photograph of him and Heather together.

"What am I supposed to do Heather? Tell me? I've got a book due at the publishers in two weeks and I can't get the bloody thing finished. Erin's going crazy, I don't have a bloody clue what's wrong with her, and I..." His voice trailed off as he just began to sob, holding the photograph to his chest, while Erin continued to cry loudly. Mitch had finally reached breaking point, as he screamed at Erin, between his sobs, "Can't you bloody shut up, I can't handle this." He then just sank back into the sofa, still clutching the photo and continued to sob, ignoring the cries of his child.

Erin Stewart

[ashton]

Ashton sat at her desk and sighed gently, as she propped her chin in her hand. It was getting on in the morning, but it had been a slow morning. Ashton had hardly anything on her schedule for today, already being through two appointments with two patients. The only major thing on today was if one of her three patients went into labour on time, as they were all due to give birth today. Just the thought of all three of them going at the same time just made her head swim. Ashton hoped that only one, maybe two did, leaving her to maybe needing help from one other doctor, or midwife. That she could handle.

Her eyes diverted towards the clock on the wall, and saw that it had only gone about five minutes since she last looked at it. Groaning, Ashton sat back in her leather chair, and closed her eyes. She knew she needed to call a couple of patients to see how they were doing, and there was paperwork to do, but in all honesty, Ashton knew she could just put it off a few minutes longer. It wasn't necessary right now, so why do it? She slowly got up out of the chair, and headed towards her coffee machine, when her phone rang.

"Hello. Dr. Summit speaking." Ashton instantly recognised the voice on the other end of the phone.

Margaret: Hi Ashton. It's Margaret Stewart here, Mitchell's mum.
Ashton: Oh hey Margaret. What can I do for you?
Margaret: I uh... sorry to bother you at work dear, but I just wanted to talk to you about Mitchell. I think he really needs help. I just don't think he is coping as well as I thought he might have.
Ashton: Oh. Okay. Well I do have some time up my sleeve right now. I might go and check up on him now.
Margaret: If it is not too much trouble. Thanks. It is just that his dad needs me right now, what with him going to have surgery for a bypass.
Ashton: I understand. Thanks for the call, and I hope that all goes well with your husband.
Margaret: Thanks. Goodbye.
Ashton: Goodbye.

Ashton slowly put down the receiver to the phone. All she could think of right now was Mitchell, and that she needed to get over there right now to see what she could do to help. She just hoped that everything was okay with him, and Erin. Just thinking of the day that he lost his wife due to complications with the birth just brought back all the emotions of the day. Ashton had no children of her own, but she had been spending a bit of time with Erin and Mitchell, and helping when she could. But sometimes work got in the way, and he was always in the back of her mind.

Ashton took off of her white coat, and put it on the coat hook on the back of her door. Grabbing her handbag, and her doctor's bag, she left the hospital. On the way, she rang her assistant, telling them that she had to step out for a little while, but she could be reached by pager or by phone. Once off the phone, Ashton hailed a taxi, and headed in the direction of Mitch's house. On the ride there, Ashton was thinking of texting him, but each time she went to do that, she decided against it. If she told him that she was coming over, he might just tell her he was okay, and that there was no need. So Ashton put her phone back in her bag, and road the rest of the way in silence.

The taxi reached Mitch's house, and Ashton paid the driver, getting out of the taxi. Standing there, just looking at the house, she wondered what she might find when she got inside. Ashton walked up the walkway, and headed straight for the door. Knocking, Ashton called out. "Hey Mitch, it's just me, Ashton." She heard Erin crying, which she felt was not a good sign of what she might find. Ashton's fist came up to the door to knock again, when she stopped, hearing Mitch yelling at Erin for her to shut up. Tears began to sting in her eyes. She was glad that his mum had called her. She knew that she would be able to help.

Banging on the door a bit harder, Ashton called out, trying to control her tone of her voice. "Mitch. Open up please!"

[mitchell]

Mitch really hadn’t meant to lose it with Erin the way he had, she was just a baby and didn’t know any better, but he was at breaking point. If he didn’t get this novel completed on time, everything would fall through and he would lose a lot of money and quite possibly the house, because he would no longer be in a position to be able to afford the bills. However, it was almost as if he had taken a mini break down, as he sank into the sofa clutching the photograph to his chest and sobbing, ignoring the cries of Erin, whatever was wrong with her. He didn’t even hear the knock at the door, he was sobbing so much and with the cries of Erin. The noise in the house was so loud he almost didn’t hear when Ashton shouted through the letterbox that she was there.

He sat forward then, and put the photo on the sofa and ran his hands messily through his hair, and then rubbed at his eyes, as he sighed and took in a few deep breaths trying to compose himself, before he got up to answer the door. However Ashton soon shouted again telling him to open the door. He loved Ashton as a friend, she had been good to him and Heather, but Mitch wasn’t really himself right now. “Aye, alright woman, give me a chance to get to the door will you.” Sighing, immediately regretting his words, he was snapping at everyone recently. He slowly made his way to the door and opened it, then leaned against the door frame and gave Ashton a very weak smile. “Sorry about that love, I’m just going out of my mind right now.” He then stood back and gestured for her to come inside.

He then made his way through into the living room taking a look around and seeing just how messy it was, Erin’s dirty clothes were on one chair piled high, and the clean ones were over the back of the sofa, he hadn’t even bothered to put them away into her drawers. There were empty take-away cartons all over the place, and a few empty bottles on the table. For a male who was living on his own looking after a child it probably wasn’t as bad as it could have been, but bad enough. Mitch moved the dirty baby clothes from the chair and threw them into the laundry basket which was already full in the corner of the living room.

“She’s been crying like that for hours, I’ve no idea what’s bloody wrong with her, and I’m going out of my mind Ash, I hate losing it like this, but we might not have this bloody house if I can’t get the book finished, and every time I try to sit and write anything, I either start thinking about Heather, or Erin needs my attention.” He looked down at his feet then, with his hand through his hair again, Erin was continuing to cry. “I’ve changed her, tried feeding her, tried winding her, but nothing seems to be wrong, probably just missing her mum like me, but...” His voice trailed off, just thinking about Heather was causing a massive lump in his throat, he wondered how much longer it was going to be so painful to talk about, he had to pull himself together, he had a beautiful daughter to think about, and despite the cries, she was his baby princess, he just felt useless right now because he couldn’t seem to do anything to stop the crying.

[ashton]

After Ashton shouted for Mitch to open the door, she heard him call back. For some reason she realised that she had been holding her breath, as she felt it leave her. It was a relief to hear him, not knowing what to think if he didn't answer at all. She might just have to break down the door somehow, or call out to the neighbours for help. Ashton had heard the tone of his voice, and started to compose herself for what he might be like when he finally opened the door.

Soon enough the door was open, and Ashton looked at Mitchell with concern on her face. Just seeing him leaning against the door frame suggested that he was maybe tired and worn out. Well he was doing the job of two parents right now, so Ashton couldn't blame him for being exhausted. After Mitchell spoke, Ashton just shook her head slowly, still looking at him. "It's okay Mitch." She put a gentle hand on his arm, as she walked passed him.

Ashton sighed silently, as she saw the sight of the house, or mainly the lounge room for now. There was dirty clothes in pile, and clean clothes as well. As she got further, Ashton saw empty cartons from take away that Mitchell had obviously bought, instead of cooking for himself. Ashton felt bad for not doing more than what she had been doing. It seriously looked like he needed some help in a few areas of the things that needed to be done during the day. Ashton knew that he was writing a book, and wondered if he was still at it, or if he had actually finished it.

As Ashton made her way over to Erin, who was in the playpen, she saw Mitchell throw some of the baby clothes into the laundry basket. It looked like he hadn't done any laundry for a few days. Ashton starting making a note of what she had seen, hoping that she might be able to help him with any or all of it. Ashton could only look at Erin with concern, and then reached in to pick her up. She had definately worked herself up, as she was getting red in the face. Mitchell spoke more, in regard to Erin, and her crying, and how he had lost it.

Ashton started to rock Erin in her arms, trying to keep her calm, and humming a little, as Ashton moved her slightly in her arms. "Shhh. It's okay Erin. It's all okay." Ashton continued this, as Mitchell spoke about what he had tried with Erin. She looked at him and give him a small smile. Ashton knew that Mitchell was missing Heather, it was only natural to miss someone that you loved. Ashton hadn't really had that, due to her busy schedule most of the time, and she loved her job, so there was always something at the hospital for her to do. But lately she had been able to make time to help Mitch out as much as she could.

"I know Mitch. I am sure that we will figure it out." Ashton looked down at Erin, and she noticed that she had slowly stopped crying. Erin was just looking at her through wet eyes, just staring. Ashton gave her a smile. "There we go. What was all that fuss about, hey? Nothing to cry about." Ashton wiped her finger slightly over each of Erin's eyes, to get rid of the tears, then continued to rock her a little. Ashton looked at Mitchell, giving him a warm smile. "Hate to admit it, but she might just miss me." With that, Ashton gave him a bigger smile, and walked over to him, handing Erin over. Then she noticed that Erin was asleep now. "Wow. Haven't had the magic touch like that in some time."

[mitchell]

{ooc - cannot believe it's taken me well over a week to reply to this - I am so going to try and not let it happen again I promise!}

Mitchell hadn’t meant to snap at Ashton when she had shouted on him the second time through his letterbox, but he really was going out of his head with worry and the constant cries of Erin were driving him insane to say the least. He gave Ashton a weak smile when she said it was alright, and then she put a hand on his arm. Without hesitation he put his hand over her own, “Thanks for understand love.” He then allowed her to walk by him, the sooner Ashton was inside and hopefully could find out what was wrong with Erin the better in his opinion. He closed the door and followed her into the living room, knowing full well the place was a disaster area.

“Sorry about the bloody mess, but I’ve been tearing my hair out on a daily basis trying to get this book finished in time for the publishers. I could lose everything if I don’t get it finished on time, keeping on top of things in the manner of the house hasn’t been easy for me as you can imagine.” The last thing he expected or wanted was for Ashton to start tidying up the mess, he’d deal with it soon enough, she was a good friend to him, but he didn’t want her being his slave either. “I’ll get to it at some point.”

Mitchell had then rambled on about Erin and her crying and how he had tried everything he could think of to make her stop but it hadn’t worked. He then watched as Ashton bent down and picked Erin up out of the playpen and began to try and hush her down as she spoke to her in a soothing voice. Mitchell wasn’t stupid of course, he knew that she probably missed her mother, after all there hadn’t been a chance for mother and baby to bond, it was only natural she would get upset a lot with missing her mother. Ashton then said that they would figure it out and no sooner had she said that, Erin’s cries seemed to have stopped or at least calmed down at any rate. Mitch couldn’t believe it.

Mitch ran both his hands through his hair over his head, he actually began to laugh lightly, “It’s a bloody miracle, you are a bloody miracle worker Ash. How the hell did you manage that?” If he hadn’t been so grief stricken over Heather, he’d have kissed Ash at that moment. Mitchell sat down on the sofa, even though he knew he should be trying to finish the book, but he couldn’t very well be ignorant, and go writing some more of his book while Ashton was there it wouldn’t have been right. When Ashton spoke saying that Erin might just miss her, Mitch nodded his head, “You might be right there lass, you just might be right.” He then gave Ashton a brighter smile, one he hadn’t really been able to give for a while, all things considering.

The next thing he knew Ashton was handing Erin over to him, who was now asleep. Mitchell gently kissed his daughter’s head and then looked at Ashton, “I feel terrible for acting the way I do, but when your profession is on the line and you have a child who is constantly crying with no visible reason it gets frustrating you know? “ Mitchell then got up slowly and carefully and gently placed Erin into her Moses basket which he kept for her to sleep in when they were both together in the one area of the house. Thankfully she didn’t waken again and hopefully she would sleep for a couple of hours now and maybe let him get something done, but he also didn’t want to be ignorant to Ashton who had come over to help. “You know, you might have to bloody well move in if she misses you that much, maybe I’ll get my book finished on time.” Mitch laughed lightly, “Thanks for coming over, don’t know what I would have bloody done if you hadn’t.”

[ashton]

When Mitch had put his hand over her own, that she had placed on his arm, she gave him a small smile. "It's okay. Just glad that I was here." Ashton had noticed the mess and made notes in her head about things that she might be able to help Mitch with while she was here. She might just have to contact her assistant to get a list of who was coming in, and if she was able to maybe put them off till a littl later in the afternoon or even as long as tomorrow. Mitch apologised for the mess, and Ashton shook her head. "It's okay Mitch. Anything I can do now, I will okay? Don't worry about it. You just do what you have to do, and I will see what I can do, okay?" Ashton gave him a smile, trying to reassure him, and keep him calm.

Ashton thought it might have taken Erin a bit to calm her down, but really it had only taken a matter of moments on Ashton's part. She felt kind of embarrassed that she had been able to comfort her, and not Mitchell, Erin's own father. But in a way it was good, so that things could calm down for him a bit for him to concentrate on finishing his book. Ashton had never read any of the books he had written, not having much time to read novels at all, unless you count medical books and journals.

Ashton bit on her lip a little as she smiled, when Mitch began to laugh a little, saying it was a miracle, Ashton was a miracle worker. Ashton just shrugged, "I have no idea. I just know that I haven't done that for a while, calm a baby down like that. Never really had any need to really - as most of the babies I deal with are just being born, or they are so upset because I have just given them a big needle, or two." Ashton had no way of explaining it, only to say that maybe Erin missed her, Ashton.

Ashton saw that smile of his, when she had mentioned that fact. She hadn't honestly seen that smile, since the day Erin was born, before the shit hit the fan, so to speak. Once Ashton had handed Erin over to Mitchell, she stood back, and saw that beautiful shot of father and daughter in front of her, as he kissed Erin's head. Then Mitch said that he felt terrible for acting the way he did. She totally understood. "I have spoke with parents who had felt the exact same way, even since parents, and I say the same thing to them, which I will say to you. Just take each day at a time, and if things get too rough, you know how to contact me." Ashton gave him a warm smile then, and she watched as Mitchell put Erin down in her basket.

Ashton almost laughed, when he made the comment of her moving in if Erin misses her that much. "Well you know that might mean me quitting my job to be a full time nanny then." She shook her head. "I am sure that I can be there for you when you need me, don't you worry about that. I can be flexible with my patients, but not when they are going to enter the world. They just won't wait." Ashton burst out laughing, then nodded, when Mitch thanked her. "It's no worries at all. I am just glad that I was here for you, when you needed help."

She looked around, and then looked at Mitch. "Just point me in the direction of the washing machine, and I can start a load of washing for you. You go and do some more writing while Erin is asleep, and I can help out here for a while. But I just need to make a phone call to work first." Ashton headed in the direction of the kitchen, and called work, to tell her assistant that she might not be able to get in, and to call her if there was an emergency only.

[mitchell]

After Mitchell apologised about the mess of the house, or at least the living area, Ashton again was very understanding and told him it was okay and anything she could do now she would. She then told him to go ahead and do what he had to, and she would do what she could do. He shook his head slightly, “I do appreciate it Ash, but it’s bad enough you’re having to see to my child without having to bloody clean up after me as well.” He really did feel quite bad about it, but he had a feeling that Ash wouldn’t take no for an answer and continue to do what she said she would do. It was definitely true that the house was missing the female touch since Heather had passed away, god how he missed her. He hoped it wouldn’t be this painful for too much longer. He saw that reassuring smile of Ashton’s and knew she really wasn’t bothered by helping, so it didn’t look like he would have much of an argument, so he ended up just giving her a smile back, “Thanks love.” He would have to start picking himself up soon though, he didn’t want to start depending on Ashton too much; she was just a friend and had a pretty demanding job.

The first thing Ash did was to pick up Erin and within no time at all she had stopped crying, it really was a miracle considering how she wouldn’t stop crying no matter what Mitch had done earlier. Mitch then said as much to Ash, saying she was a bloody miracle worker and asking her how she had managed it. He couldn’t help but laugh lightly as Ash said she had no idea, but she hadn’t done that for a while now. “Well whatever you did, it worked.” He wished he knew what the magic tough was, but as he looked at Erin, he just thought maybe he just had to start spending more time with her, giving her more love and affection. Maybe if he got in touch with the publishers and told him about Heather’s death and his current situation they might give him an extension on when the book could be published. But he wouldn’t get his money until the book was complete, and the initial fee money was all but used by now.

Ashton then said that maybe Erin just missed her, and Mitch said maybe she was right and then gave her a bright smile. It was probably the first time he had smiled quite so brightly like that since the day Erin was born, although that smile had soon left when Heather died moments later. Ashton had then handed Erin to him, and he held her in his arms and kissed the top of her head, then apologised to Ashton for the way he had acted before. As Ashton spoke back to him, he just kept smiling warmly at her, finding it amazing how calm and quiet Erin was now. When she told him just to take each day is it comes and if he felt things were getting to rough he knew how to contact her. “Thanks lass, you’re a bloody good friend to have, I don’t know what I would do without you.” Mitch then chose that moment to put Erin back into her basket where she would hopefully continue to sleep for a short while.

Mitchell had then joked with Ash saying she might have to move in if Erin missed her that much, although he could be half serious with that also. When Ash replied saying she might have to quit her job to be a full time nanny Mitch shook his head, “I was teasing you love, but who said anything about becoming a full time nanny? Part time one would be good enough.” He laughed then, he hadn’t felt this good for quite a while now, oh he was still missing Heather, but this was honestly the first day he had been able to have a grin on his face and a good laugh without feeling immediate pain afterward. However Ash spoke some more saying she was sure she could be there whenever he needed her, as her patients could be flexible with her, unless the baby was coming, as they wait for nobody. “Well I appreciate it Ash, thanks, joking aside, I know you’ll do what you can when you can.”

Soon Ashton was asking him to point her in the direction of the washing machine so that she could get some washing done for him so he could get some of his book written while Erin was asleep. “Sure love, the washing machine is in the hallway leading out into the back garden, and the tumble dryer is next to it. You’ll find the washing detergents in the cupboard above the machines. Thanks again, you have no idea how much this means to me.” He flashed her another grin and then took a quick check on Erin, making sure she was still fast asleep he made his way over to the computer, and poised his fingers above the keys, and took in a deep breath, reading the last few lines of what he had written, got his head into gear, and began to churn out which would hopefully be the final few chapters of the book.

[ashton]

Ashton gave Mitch a small smile, when he spoke, saying it was bad enough she was having to deal with his child, let along having to clean up. She never wanted to overstep her boundries with Mitch, but felt, as a friend, she had a right to help him when he needed. And she could tell that he needed her help for a couple of hours at least. "Mitch, it's okay. What are friends for if they can't help their friends out." Mitch finally gave in, and thanked her. "That's okay Mitch. Glad I can help." Ashton gave him another reassuring smile, glad that he was letting her help.

Ashton could only imagine how Mitch was feeling after losing his wife, as she had never been through what he went through. But seeing him with Erin, fast asleep, was a sight to see. She tried to tell him to just take one day at a time, and to basically contact her if it was getting rough. Ashton gave him a smile then as he replied. "That's okay Mich. Glad to have been there for you since... Well, you know." She brushed it off, as she watched Mitchell put Erin in her basket. She didn't want to bring it up, as Mitchell was probably constantly thinking about that day over and over in his head.

When Mitch said that he was only teasing her about moving in, Ash grinned then. "I know. But it might be something to think about down the track. I love my job, but I also love to help my friends out when I can. And I class you as one of my good friends Mitch." Ashton smiled brightly at him, when Mitch laughed. Another thing she hadn't seen him do in a while either. It seemed that now his day was turning around somewhat for him, and she was pleased to have been a part of that. After she spoke more about being there when he needed her, and that she could be flexible, he said that he appreciated it, and that he knew she would do what she could when she could. "Yes, that's me. Old reliable." Ashton gave him a grin, and then wondered when she might be able to come over next to help him out.

Ashton had then asked him to point her in the direction of the washing machine. Once he did this, she rang work, then came back to pick up the washing basket with the dirty clothes in it. Ashton gave Mitchell a smile, as she made her way towards the washing machine. She put the basket down, and then began to sort the clothes into piles. Halfway through, she picked up a small outfit of Erin's and held it up. A small smile came across Ashton's face, thinking it was so tiny, but so cute. As she put it into the washing machine, she wondered if she would ever get a chance to have any kids of her own. She just had to find the right person to have them with.

**** 3 hours later ****

Ashton loaded in the last lot of washing, which were the towels that she grabbed from the bathroom. Once the door was shut and the machine was turned on, she looked at her watch. Was it really that long ago since she had come to Mitch's rescue? Wow, she thought, time flies when you are helping others. Ashton went over to her phone, and checked for any messages or missed called, but nothing. She was kind of glad that no one needed her desperately, only Mitch, the one person who did need help today. And she was glad that she was able to give it.

Ashton made her way into the lounge room, and walked passed Erin in the basket. She soon noticed that she was wide awake, and wondered how long she had been awake for. Ashton smiled at Erin, and carefully picked her up out of the basket. Once she was settled in Ashton's arms, Erin quietly looked up at her. "Hey Erin. Did you have a nice sleep? I wonder if daddy has done anymore on his book. Let's go and have a look." Ashton moved slowly towards Mitchell at his computer. "How's it going?"

[mitchell]

{ooc - I am going to love Ashtell lol}

After Ashton had managed to get Erin off to sleep Mitchell thanked her and said she was a great friend to friend. When Ashton spoke again she said that it was alright and she was glad to have been there for him since, and then added he knew. He knew alright, “I know lass, I know, but...” He trailed off and took in a deep breath, “I need to move on, I’ve got that one to think of.” He pointed to Erin who was asleep in her basket for now, “I keep telling myself I have to pull myself together for Erin, but sometimes it’s just too difficult. She doesn’t understand that mummy isn’t here and daddy is at his wits end most days. But it’s not Erin’s fault and I have to move on from that.” Maybe this would be the day Mitch would finally get his act together and start looking to the future. The day he lost Heather was still very much in his mind, but his child was almost three months old now and she needed him, and he probably needed her more than he realised.

When Ashton said she knew he was teasing about moving in, he smiled at her and playfully nudged her arm; Mitchell’s playful side was showing itself ever so slightly, a part of him which had been well and truly buried since Heather’s death giving birth to Erin. However, Ash spoke saying it might be something to think about down the track, adding that she loved her job but she loved to help her friends as well. Mitch looked at her with a soft smile, but with a serious voice, “Well if I have another day like today then maybe it is something to look into for sure, if you’re serious about yourself lass.” What could be so wrong with two very good friends living together when one was in dire need of help from the other when they could give it? When Ashton said she was old reliable, Mitchell felt his head shake, “Nah you aren’t old Ash, reliable definitely, but old?” He made a face obviously disagreeing with that idea and then winked at her.

****3 hours later****

As Ashton got to work doing what she could, she had left Mitchell to get on with writing his book, which was exactly what he did. He didn’t even realise how much time had went by until he heard Ashton’s voice speak to Erin. Mitchell hadn’t even realised his daughter had woken, but then why would he when she hadn’t begun to cry. Usually the minute she woke up she would cry the house down, that was partly what had been making it so difficult for Mitch to get anything done in the way of housework and his book, the fact that Erin would continuously cry when she woke up. At the back of his mind the words Ashton had said earlier were swimming around, that maybe she just missed her. Well, maybe it was more she missed hearing a female voice in the house, a mother’s voice, a female’s presence even, a mother’s presence. It was no wonder Erin was so upset on a daily basis. Mitch had been too consumed in his own grief to realise Erin was probably missing the mother bond.

He had to smile when he heard Ashton speak to Erin about finding out how daddy was doing with his book. Mitch then looked at the time, and that’s when he realised he had been at it for three hours, looking at what he had done, he realised he had just about completed the book. A few more pages and he’d be there. A miracle had definitely happened in this house when Ashton arrived. He turned to look at the both of them, gently touching Erin’s nose with his finger. “Hi my little princess, did you waken and not even let either of us know? Who’s a good girl?” He then looked at Ashton and grinned at her, “She looks good in your arms lass, I think I’m just about finished to be honest, and do you know that’s the first time she’s woken and not cried instantly? I think she misses the mother bond to be honest. Can’t say I blame the child, we all need a mother.” Mitchell then turned back to his computer and saved what he had written and shut it down and then got up from the desk and looked at Erin in Ashton’s arms, she seemed so content. “I could do with a break now, the book will probably be finished in the next half hour I can get. Thanks again for everything. Are you alright with her, or do you want me to take her off you?” He then made his way over to the sofa and sat down, patting the seat beside him for Ashton to join, after all, she could probably do with a break herself.

[ashton]

Ash listened to what Mitchell said, after she had stopped in mid-sentence. He himself had trailed off, and then added that he needed to move on, and had Erin to think of. It was true, but she also knew that he had to take care of himself. "I know Mitch. And you should know that you can call on me if you ever need me." Ash rested her hand on his arm, reassuring him all over again, hoping that he would remember that she was there to help. Mitch then added that he had to pull himself together, but it was difficult. It was breaking her heart a bit, when he spoke of Erin not understanding about the situation. Ash nodded, and then without thinking, gave him a hug.

The thought of possibly moving in to help was sound more like the right thing to do in the best interest of Mitch and Erin. Mitch spoke then, and Ashton instantly nodded. "I would definately be considering it. It's not like I am tired down with my job at the hospital. But if I did move in, I could still work part time, you know. I am sure that they would be able to find someone who would be only looking for part time work, and who could share the work load." Ashton knew that she hadn't meant that she was old, but had to giggle a little at what Mitch said. "Well I am glad that I don't look it then." She gave him a smile then, knowing deep down that she would love to live with him, if it helped him out with Erin.

**** 3 hours later ****

Ashton hadn't realised the time, but she was glad that she had gotten all the washing done for Mitch. He had really needed help, and Ash had been the one to help him when he needed her the most. She of cause did her own washing at her place, but just doing someone elses was kind of rewarding, though she wouldn't just do it for anyone. No, Mitch was her friend, and she would do anything for him.

After Ashton had picked up Erin, and walked over to see what Mitch was up to, Mitch turned around with a smile. Well it seems he is much happier now, thought Ashton, giving him a smile back. Ash watched as Mitchell touched Erin on the nose and spoke to her. So it seemed to Ashton that Erin normally cried when she woke. Well most babies did, but it seemed that little Erin did it all the time, which she could tell would be a stressful thing for any person, especially Mitchell. She wondered why he never ever called her when he needed help. But maybe he called him mum, which was understandable. What was Ashton, just a friend, when his mum was the one that meant more to him.

Mitch had then looked at Ash, commenting that Erin looked good in her arms. She heard the rest of what he said, and she smiled, but what he said about Erin looked in her arms made her blush a little. She hardly got to hold the babies that were born. Normally they just came out, then she handed them over to the nurse to clean them up. Ashton then began to wonder if she would have any of her own. She had been too busy to date much, what with her demanding job, what with having to go in if someone was in labour, or if something else was happening. So the afternoon had feel like a relaxing one, despite the washing of Mitch's and Erin's clothes. That was nothing compared to what she would have been doing: paperwork mostly.

She didn't know what to say to that part of Mitchell's comment, so just spoke about the other bits. "That's great that you are almost finished, and really? I know most babies do cry when they wake, but some sometimes just lay there for a little while then might decide to cry. Maybe she is going through that stage." Ashton didn't want to acknowledge that maybe he was right about Erin needed that mother bond thing. Ashton knew that he was right in saying that, but still didn't want to make what he had gone through any worse.

Ashton looked down at Erin, who was looking at her again, and she smiled down at her, thinking that she was a cute baby. But it wasn't possible when her parents were good looking. Ashton looked around. Did I just think that, she thought. Soon that thought was out of her mind, when Mitch said that he could do with a break, and she nodded when he added that the book will be finished in the next half an hour. "That's great Mitch, and no worries." When he had asked if she was okay with Erin, she nodded. Erin was nothing to hold, and she kind of liked holding her.

Mitch then sat down, and patted the lounge, acknowledging for her to sit. So when Ashton went over and sat down, she turned a little so that she could kind of face Mitchell as they spoke. Once again she looked down at Erin. "Do you want to get a bottle? She might be due for one." She looked at Mitch, and smiled. "I just have this feeling, as she has been asleep for maybe three hours."

[mitchell]

After Mitchell said he had to move on for Erin’s benefit which he knew was true but it still hurt to think of life without Heather, when Ashton replied he could only give her a weak smile at first. Ash then told him he should know that he could call her whenever he needed help. He hated to think of using her like that and yet she couldn’t deny the fact her turning up today was a blessing for him. He soon felt that reassuring hand on his arm which made him look at her again. “Aye lass, I’ll try to remember that, thanks.” It was true all the tough times he had called his mother, but while they lived in Scotland there was little she could do for him, he really needed someone who lived close to him, and right now that was Ashton. Ashton then gave him a hug, and Mitch didn’t hesitate to hug her back, feeling good to be in the arms of a woman again, not in the romantic sense of course, although Ash was gorgeous, even a man in grief couldn’t deny that. He mentally slapped himself, he shouldn’t be thinking like that and even when he was ready to move on, why would she want him, when she could get any young stud out there.

When Mitch had joked about Ashton moving in, it soon turned into a serious conversation and after Mitch added if he had another day like he’d had so far it might not be a bad idea, he had to smile when Ash responded saying she would definitely give it some consideration. Ash then went on to say she could work part time being sure to be able to get another who was willing to work part time. Mitchell would love the help, but he’d hate to think he would be messing around with Ashton’s job, and he knew it was a job she loved. He could see it just in the way she was with Erin, and she was no longer a newborn. “I’d hate to get in the way of your job lass, but you know if it’s something you feel you can do there’d be two people right here who would appreciate it.” Mitchell more so, only because he knew the housework was suffering, due to having to grab every single spare moment he had on the book. The only good thing about being an author, he seldom had to leave the house to work and when he did leave it was to meet up with the publishers, Erin could easily tag along with him then if necessary.

**** 3 hours later ****

The time had gone in so quickly, Mitch had almost got his book finished when Ash came over with Erin. He had made a comment about how Erin looked good in Ashton’s arms, but when she didn’t comment on it he hoped he hadn’t embarrassed her, because he hadn’t meant to, it was just something he couldn’t help but roll off his tongue when he saw Erin looking so comfortable in Ashton’s arms. She had smiled at him though and so he just smiled back at her, what else could he do really? She did comment on his other words though. “Yeah its great lass, couldn’t believe it, a few hours free and it all just came flooding out of me.” Ash then went on to say sometimes babies lie awake for a while before they begin to cry, maybe if she had been left for much longer she may have cried, “Yeah maybe Ash, but it sure was great to see that she woke without crying.” Erin’s whole personality seemed different and Mitchell was sure it was because Ashton was in the house, no matter how difficult it was to say it and think about it, it was obvious to Mitchell, and probably to anybody Erin missed the mother figure.

After Mitch had beckoned for Ash to sit next to him and she did she soon turned to him and spoke about Erin possibly needing a bottle now as she had been asleep for a possible three hours. If Mitchell had been on his own he probably wouldn’t have thought of that right away, not that he starved the child, he just sometimes didn’t think straight all the time. “Yeah Ash, she might very well be due a bottle, she wouldn’t bloody take any of the one I had earlier.” With that Mitchell got up again, leaving Ash with Erin and went into the kitchen and soon had one of the bottles made up. He tested it on the back of his hand to make sure it wasn’t too hot and then made his way back through to the living room and sat down again. He was just going to hand the bottle over to Ashton but then wondered if should give it a try again himself, seeing how she hadn’t taken a bottle from him all today so far.

“Do you want to feed her, or do you think I should see if she’ll take it from me now? Seeing how she’s been twisting all day and refused any bottles from me so far.” He didn’t want Ash to think he didn’t trust her with feeding Erin, but he also didn’t want Ash to think because she was there holding Erin he was going to take it for granted that she would then feed her.

[ashton]

Ashton listened to what Mitchell said, in regard to the whole conversation about her moving in. Hearing that two people would appreciate it, Ashton looked at Mitchell then at Erin, feeling her heart go out to them somewhat. "I think that I will be doing a lot of thinking about it, don't you worry."

**** 3 hours later ****

Ash gave him a smile, when he spoke of how the words just came out of him as he wrote the book. "That's great to hear Mitch. Really great." Ashton was kind of proud of herself to, for helping so much in order for Mitch to get his own job done. After she made the comment about Erin and the crying, Mitch replied, and Ash nodded slightly. "I know." It was great to see that Erin was maybe finally able to just lay there after waking for a little while, or maybe after she left Erin would start crying all over again. Ashton wondered if it was best for her to just stay till the night time, when it might be safer for her to leave.

Ash nodded slightly, then Mitch got up to get the bottle. She looked down at Erin, seeing how peaceful she was still. "Well Miss Erin. Daddy has gone to get you a bottle. Now do you think you could let him give it to you this time?" Ash warmly smiled at her, which led to Erin to give her a little smile. "I guess that is a yes then." Ashton lent her head on the back of the lounge, and began to hum some tune to Erin. After a few minutes Mitch came back, and Ashton watched him sit, and then ask her if she wanted to feed Erin, or did she think that he should. "I think you should try again Mitchell." Ashton then slowly handed Erin back to him, and put her into his arms.

Ashton sat back and watched as Mitch attempted to feed Erin. She looked, hoping that Erin would take the bottle this time, or she didn't know what he might do, or what would happen. If Erin didn't then Ashton knew that she would try, and with her luck, Erin would take the bottle from her, and then Ash would feel bad. She hoped that Erin let her father feed her.

[mitchell]

After Mitch had said two people would appreciate it if she were to move in he saw her look at him and then at Erin and then she replied saying that she would be doing a lot of thinking about it and not to worry. Mitchell had no more words to say then and just gave her a bright smile. They were friends before anything else and it might be a bit weird having her there at first when he was always so used to Heather, but all he had to do was think about how it would not only help him, but Erin too that he could only think it would be a good thing.

**** 3 hours later ****

Mitchell couldn’t believe how a few hours to himself with Erin asleep had been able to put him in the stride for almost finishing his book. Now he could stop worrying about the possibility of losing the house. He had expressed his feelings about to Ashton and she replied saying it was great to hear, he just grinned at her. It was great alright, two days ago he thought he might lose the house if he couldn’t get his act together soon. He would have to give Ashton a cut of the royalties from the sale of this book for her part in making it happen.

It was also great for Mitch that Erin woken after her sleep without crying, he was secretly hoping it was the start of a turnaround for the both of them, but only time would tell. There was always a chance the minute Ashton left, Erin would start up again. However he didn’t want to think like that, he had to start thinking positive now. Negativity was doing nothing for either him or Erin. Ashton had then mentioned about the possibility of Erin needing a feed and as he went to get a bottle for her he could hear Ashton talk to Erin and it made him smile. That was what his baby girl needed, to hear a woman’s voice speak to her.

Soon enough Mitchell was back through with the bottle and then asked Ashton if she thought he should try again with her, but he hadn’t wanted her to think he didn’t trust her feeding his daughter, because that would be so far from the truth it wasn’t even funny. He trusted Ashton with his own life, hell he trusted Ashton with his daughter’s life. Ashton agreed that he should maybe try again. He smiled at her, “Alright then, let’s have a go shall we my princess.” Mitch spoke to Erin as Ashton handed her over to him. Right away Erin gave him a smile before he even got the bottle anywhere near her. “Hey, well I didn’t have that earlier, it was tears from word go.” He then gently put the bottle to Erin’s lips and soon enough she was suckling on it, not a twist in sight, in fact it was going down that quick he could almost hear the gulps from her.

He turned slightly to face Ashton, “Well, looks like she’s taking it now alright.” He looked back down at Erin who was still gulping down her milk, he wasn’t sure now whether it was because Ashton was still there or not though. He figured time would tell soon enough though. He looked back at Ashton again and although he had already said it a few times he just couldn’t help but say it again. “I really do appreciate all the help you’ve given me lass, you have no idea what it means to me.” He glanced back at Erin again and luckily she was still drinking from the bottle, which by now was already almost half empty, probably making up for the fact she’d had nothing earlier that day. He really did hope this was a step in the right direction for the both of them.

[ashton]

Ashton was glad that Mitch wanted to try and feed Erin again. She knew that he would have to try on his own, when Erin decided that she was going to refuse the bottle. These things happened, but really Mitch was a first time dad, and doing it all on his own. Basically doing the work of two parents, plus holding down a job. Ashton handed over Erin to Mitch, and smiled slightly as he spoke to his daughter. She saw Erin smile at Mitch, and Ashton knew that that was definately making his day. She heard all about the screaming from Erin, and had witnessed it as well. So seeing Erin doing this calm but reassuring emotion to Mitch made Ashton just melt.

When Mitch commented about Erin smiling at him, Ashton nodded, knowing what he meant. She almost held her breath, feeling it escape her lips as Erin in fact took the bottle this time for Mitch. Ashton lent her head against the back of the lounge, and watched the baby take the bottle quite well. Each time Mitch looked at her, Ashton gave him a warm smile, so happy for him that it was working out in the end. She just hoped that once she left for the night, that Erin woud somehow behave herself. But a baby at her age, anything was possible and unpredictable unfortunately.

Mitchell had thanked her a few times since she had been there with them to help, and all she could do was smile and nod at him. Ashton followed his gaze down to Erin, and saw that the milk was going down well, which made her happy for Mitchell. "I am just glad that she is doing okay at the moment. But I am sure that once I am gone this evening, she will continue to do okay for you Mitch." Ashton put a reassuring hand on his arm, and gave him a warm smile. She continued to watch as Erin drank, and Ashton then remembered that her hand was still on his arm, and slowly removed it.

"I put in the last of the washing, which should be done in maybe twenty minutes. And lucky me no phone calls from work, so I can stay a little while yet." Ashton smiled, then looked down at Erin. She was pretty special to have a father like Mitchell. Ashton knew that he would do anything for her, especially after his wife passed on. She hoped at she could be there for them, still thinking about the live in job that she had brought up.

[mitchell]

When Mitch tried to give Erin her bottle again she seemed to take it from him this time without any problem, and she was actually drinking it rather well, because he could hear her gulping it down at quite a force. He had turned to Ashton feeling quite happy and proud that Erin was finally taking her bottle from him today. Ashton gave him a warm smile which told Mitch she was happy for him, and he just kept looking down at his gorgeous daughter drinking her milk from the bottle, and he bent down to kiss her on the top of her head. Ashton then said she was glad she was taking the milk from him and that she would continue to be okay once she was gone. He really did hope that was the case. “I really hope so lass, I really do hope so.” He loved Erin of course he did, she was his daughter, but there was only so many times you could try to feed a baby who was crying their eyes out no matter what you tried to do to comfort them.

Ashton’s hand on his arm hadn’t gone unnoticed and he glanced down, thinking for just a second how good it felt to have her hand there, but whether it was because he still missed Heather, which he did and probably always would, or if it was because he might actually like Ashton he wasn’t sure. Just as he thought that however, Ashton moved her hand, and Mitchell shook his head slightly, wanting to slap himself mentally for thinking what he had just thought. There was no way he should be thinking like that, and besides Ashton was just a friend.

Ashton spoke again shortly after saying she had put in the last of the washing which should be done in twenty minutes and added that she had no phone calls and that she could stay for a while yet. Mitch gave her a warm smile, “Well, I wouldn’t say no lass; some adult company for a while would be good.” He gave her another smile and then looked back down at Erin, who had now finished the bottle and had actually fallen asleep again. “Well, look at that Ash; she’s actually fallen asleep in my arms. She hasn’t done that for a while either.” He slowly got up after removing the bottle from her mouth and placed her into her Moses basket, the one he always put her into to sleep when he was in the living room. He then sat back down again, “So, do you just want to talk, or do you think we could maybe try and get a movie watched?” He tried to think what might be a good movie for the both of them, and for some reason Heather’s favourite movie ‘PS: I Love You’ came to his mind, he knew the basis of the story and he wondered if watching it might actually help him some more, he hadn’t dared to watch it since Heather’s death.