Post by katie on Apr 15, 2010 20:44:10 GMT -5
Katie still couldn’t believe that she was about to give birth, it was too soon and she wasn’t ready for it. Then again, who was to say she would have been ready for it in two months time as well. She just had all these thoughts going through her head, because she didn’t feel as if she was in the best situation right now to be bringing her child into the world. She had these hidden feelings for who could only be described as her best friend. How could she cope with her child when she hadn’t even admitted how she really felt about Jonathan? She had to tell him how she was feeling, she just had to, but not right now, no, right now she had to concentrate on getting this baby delivered because the pain she was feeling was just too unbearable for her to deal with anything else right now.
Katie had soon told Jonathan she was scared, well she was, she just didn’t feel she was ready to be a mom quite so soon, she had wanted to be prepared, and she was far from prepared, even if she did have some of the items in for the baby already. Jonathan then squeezed her hand and spoke to her saying that it was okay and he was there for her every step of the way. She nodded her head a little, “I know, but...” She trailed off, another pain had taken hold of her, and it still wasn’t the right time to admit her feelings to him.
Soon enough Katie was being told to give a push which she had done squeezing Jonathan’s hand rather hard, however she didn’t think about the pain she may have been causing him, she just wanted to get this baby out, she just wanted the birth over with already. She soon felt the coolness of a cloth on her forehead and she turned to give Jonathan a weak smile. He was doing the best he could for her after all. Katie was sort of dazed with the pushing and pain, but she just about heard the midwife telling Jonathan to stand behind her and hold her hands, so she automatically held her hands out for him, and when she was asked to push again she did just as hard as the first time, letting out another scream. God knows how much pain Jonathan was feeling, because the knuckles on Katie’s hands were white with the pressure she was squeezing Jonathan’s hands with. She heard Jonathan speak then telling her she was doing great. She gently squeezed his hand to acknowledge what he said because she was too exhausted already to speak.
It wasn’t long after Katie thought she wasn’t going to be able to do this anymore when she heard Jonathan whisper in her ear that he was there and they were to do this and then she felt him kiss her on the cheek. She so wanted to just turn to him and tell him she loved him at that point, but knew it would be wrong, so very wrong. Instead she just smiled at him weakly again and then closed her eyes and gave that one big final push and as she did so she heard him speak again and it forced a smile on her lips through the scream that came with the push. Then Katie heard the cries of a newborn baby and suddenly all her fears washed away with that sound and she began to cry happy tears. The midwife told her and Jonathan they had a perfect baby boy, she had called Jonathan daddy and Katie had bitten down on her bottom lip and then apologised to him, but right after exclaimed her joy at having a baby boy.
Jonathan shook his head at her, saying it was fantastic news and she could see the tears in Jonathan’s eyes. So he had gotten emotional as well, although she figured it would have to be difficult not to get emotional, he had after all just witnessed new life being born into the world. “Thanks Jonathan.” No sooner had she said that, he kissed her, and Katie wasn’t sure what to do at first, but then her natural instincts kicked in and she took his face in both of her hands and kissed him back. After a few seconds, she pulled away from him and looked at him wide eyed, not sure exactly what had just happened. Well, she knew what had happened, they had just kissed, but did this mean what she thought it meant? “I...I...uhm...” She stammered over her words and then realised it was stupid, smiling at him, she continued, “I love you Jonathan, I’ve been in love with you for a couple of months now, I was just scared to tell you because I didn’t want to lose a friend, but... but...you just kissed me and all those feelings came rushing out in that kiss.”
It was at that moment the midwife brought back Katie’s little bundle of joy and placed him gently into Katie’s arms. “There you go mommy, I’ll leave you both alone for now, but I’ll have the hospital photographer come in a little later to take the first photograph of you all together.” With that she left them alone and Katie looked down at her little boy, with tears in her eyes all over again. She gently pulled the blanket down so she could see his face, and his eyes were wide open just staring blankly at her. He was the double of Joshua her twin brother which was a relief, because she had been scared when she looked at him she would see his face, but there was nothing about him in her child, all she could see was her twin brother who had died. Looking up at Jonathan she smiled at him, “Meet Taylor Joshua Jonathan William...” She trailed off for a second thinking of the baby’s surname, technically he was a Moore because Katie wasn’t married, but she knew in a heartbeat she wanted her baby to have Jonathan’s surname, and she looked at him, blinking a few times, “...Baker.” Swallowing and then continuing, “I would like him to have your name, is that alright with you?”
Katie had soon told Jonathan she was scared, well she was, she just didn’t feel she was ready to be a mom quite so soon, she had wanted to be prepared, and she was far from prepared, even if she did have some of the items in for the baby already. Jonathan then squeezed her hand and spoke to her saying that it was okay and he was there for her every step of the way. She nodded her head a little, “I know, but...” She trailed off, another pain had taken hold of her, and it still wasn’t the right time to admit her feelings to him.
Soon enough Katie was being told to give a push which she had done squeezing Jonathan’s hand rather hard, however she didn’t think about the pain she may have been causing him, she just wanted to get this baby out, she just wanted the birth over with already. She soon felt the coolness of a cloth on her forehead and she turned to give Jonathan a weak smile. He was doing the best he could for her after all. Katie was sort of dazed with the pushing and pain, but she just about heard the midwife telling Jonathan to stand behind her and hold her hands, so she automatically held her hands out for him, and when she was asked to push again she did just as hard as the first time, letting out another scream. God knows how much pain Jonathan was feeling, because the knuckles on Katie’s hands were white with the pressure she was squeezing Jonathan’s hands with. She heard Jonathan speak then telling her she was doing great. She gently squeezed his hand to acknowledge what he said because she was too exhausted already to speak.
It wasn’t long after Katie thought she wasn’t going to be able to do this anymore when she heard Jonathan whisper in her ear that he was there and they were to do this and then she felt him kiss her on the cheek. She so wanted to just turn to him and tell him she loved him at that point, but knew it would be wrong, so very wrong. Instead she just smiled at him weakly again and then closed her eyes and gave that one big final push and as she did so she heard him speak again and it forced a smile on her lips through the scream that came with the push. Then Katie heard the cries of a newborn baby and suddenly all her fears washed away with that sound and she began to cry happy tears. The midwife told her and Jonathan they had a perfect baby boy, she had called Jonathan daddy and Katie had bitten down on her bottom lip and then apologised to him, but right after exclaimed her joy at having a baby boy.
Jonathan shook his head at her, saying it was fantastic news and she could see the tears in Jonathan’s eyes. So he had gotten emotional as well, although she figured it would have to be difficult not to get emotional, he had after all just witnessed new life being born into the world. “Thanks Jonathan.” No sooner had she said that, he kissed her, and Katie wasn’t sure what to do at first, but then her natural instincts kicked in and she took his face in both of her hands and kissed him back. After a few seconds, she pulled away from him and looked at him wide eyed, not sure exactly what had just happened. Well, she knew what had happened, they had just kissed, but did this mean what she thought it meant? “I...I...uhm...” She stammered over her words and then realised it was stupid, smiling at him, she continued, “I love you Jonathan, I’ve been in love with you for a couple of months now, I was just scared to tell you because I didn’t want to lose a friend, but... but...you just kissed me and all those feelings came rushing out in that kiss.”
It was at that moment the midwife brought back Katie’s little bundle of joy and placed him gently into Katie’s arms. “There you go mommy, I’ll leave you both alone for now, but I’ll have the hospital photographer come in a little later to take the first photograph of you all together.” With that she left them alone and Katie looked down at her little boy, with tears in her eyes all over again. She gently pulled the blanket down so she could see his face, and his eyes were wide open just staring blankly at her. He was the double of Joshua her twin brother which was a relief, because she had been scared when she looked at him she would see his face, but there was nothing about him in her child, all she could see was her twin brother who had died. Looking up at Jonathan she smiled at him, “Meet Taylor Joshua Jonathan William...” She trailed off for a second thinking of the baby’s surname, technically he was a Moore because Katie wasn’t married, but she knew in a heartbeat she wanted her baby to have Jonathan’s surname, and she looked at him, blinking a few times, “...Baker.” Swallowing and then continuing, “I would like him to have your name, is that alright with you?”