Diving into the Mind (Gabby)

[jacob]

18th, November 2008

It was just two days after he had met the saddened woman by the duck pond, it happened to be her birthday, that day and he knew that something good was going to come out of this meeting he wanted today. With the number that she gave him, he had called her yesterday to invite her over to his place, giving her directions to his apartment. It was close to 11.30am, and Jacob pottered about his place, tidying and rearranging the few items he kept on the shelving of his place. He wanted her to feel comfortable, while they were going to be talking deeply about the things she was most afraid of and worried about.

There was a great feeling inside him, knowing that he was going to help her in some small way. That's what he liked to do most, is help someone become the best that they could be. With whatever knowledge he has, he wants to be able to share it with those who need it most - Gabby wasn't a charity case, and didn't want her to feel like she was. He was just happy that he had someone else that was willing to be helped. And grow as a person.

Jacob understood that they were most probably going to be talking for a long time, and as a precaution, made some chicken, lettuce and tomato sandwiches for when she might be hungry. He marvelled at his handywork, in reality, it had been a long time since someone was in his apartment - especially a girl. There wasn't any need for it, but he felt slightly nervous about her coming around. Nervous because he was anxious about how things were going to turn out, and seeing as she was a very pretty young lady - and he was a male. She was attractive, but he had a job to do, and keeping his hands off her was going to be the hard part.

Standing in the middle of the wooden loungeroom, he looked around to see if there was anything else to do, but mentally checking off his list of chores, he nodded. He was finished.

[gabriella]

Yesterday Gabby had got a call from Jacob, she had been pleased to hear from him. To be honest she wasn't sure she would have heard from him quite as soon as she had, but it was a pleasant surprise. He had asked her to meet him at his house today, and had given her directions to his apartment. Of course the main reason for this meeting was for her to talk over her problems about her past. But somehow she had a feeling there was or would be something a little more in it than just talking through her problems.

It hadn't taken her too long to arrive at Jacob's apartment, and looking at it from the outside, it looked like he had a lovely place. Now she was outside, she was beginning to feel a little nervous however and she had no idea why she was feeling that way. Maybe it was because she had such a nice time with him that day despite everything, and the fact he was handsome hadn't gone unnoticed either.

As she approached the door, she took another look at the building, and realised it really was a lovely place he stayed. She rang the door bell, and then stood waiting for him to answer the door. She just kept praying this meeting would go well. When the door finally opened and she saw him standing there, she didn't know whether to give him a kiss on the cheek or what, but instead she just nervously waved.

"Hi, it's nice to see you again" she said and gave him a lovely smile.

[jacob]

The echo of the doorbell sounded in his house as he looked up and gasped, startled that someone was out there. However jumpy he maybe, he knew that he'd have to show some composure in front of her, or she'd think he was total nutcase. Drawing a deep and calming breath, he walked over to the door and opened it. She was exactly on time, and he liked that. "Punctual," he smiled as she said hello and waved nervously, "I like that."

Opening the door wider and lifting an inviting arm, he stepped aside and ushured her inside, closing the door behind her. "Would you like anything to drink, eat?" he asked placing a tender hand on the small of her back and leading her to the open planned lounge room and allowing her to sit where she wanted. The windows were wide open, letting in the nice spring feel of the breeze. He loved days like this, they always seemed to calm and had a homely feel to them, even as the sun wasn't extremely harsh as it would have been in the middle of summer, but to allow the light come streaming through his windows and fill the rooms of his appartment felt natural to him.

Moving toward the kitchen, he looked back at her with a calm smile, waiting for her answer.

[gabriella]

She smiled when he spoke to her and said she was punctual and that he liked that. "Wel I don't like to keep people waiting" she said softly giving him a warm smile. As he opened the door wider to allow her to walk into his home, "Thanks" she said as he invited her inside, she smiled as she did so, taking a look around at the surroundings inside.

He then asked if she wanted something to eat or drink, right now she wasn't quite hungry, but she could certainly have a drink, as her mouth was sort of dry. After all she was in this man's house, a man she'd only met for the first time only two days earlier. She had no idea what was coming of it, but the nerves had taken her over slightly.

She smiled, and felt her skin tingle when his hand touched the small of her back. "I'm fine for food right now, but a drink would be lovely thank you" she said softly. Walking into the open lounge and taking in it's beauty. She sat down on the sofa, and the cool breeze from the open windows was very refreshing.

"You have a wonderful house Jacob" Gabby found herself saying with a warm smile.

[jacob]

"Oh, thank you!" he replied to her, "I love this house, rather a bargin if I do say so myself." he added with a wide smile as he made his way through the living room as she took a seat. "I used to live here with my ex, but when she left, there was one thing she didn't take. I'm just glad she moved out and not me." Jacob looked around the room, even the streets outside were quiet for him, just how he liked it. He felt safe and had a sense of belonging while he was around the house and in his backyard.

With her answer, he had already made his way into the kitchen and pottered about with some mugs. "I have tea, coffee, water, orange juice... nothing fizzy, they just rot your stomach." Jacob added, his voice muffled as he stuck his head in the fridge to see if there was something he could accomodate her with. "Oh, scrap that, no orange juice." he said closing the door and walking to the doorway of the kitchen to poke his head out and look at her with a smile. "Tea?" he suggested, he had already flicked the electric kettle on before he set himself the task of going through his fridge for refreshments. "I have black tea, peppermint and chai?" he was probably asking way too many questions, but he wanted to make sure she was going to be comfortable talking with him.

They were, after all, practically strangers.

Not waiting for a responce he ducked back into the kitchen and made his own cup of tea and made one for her, and with both teas in his hands, he walked back into the living room where she had been and placed it down on the coffee table. "I didn't really know how you wanted it, but it's got one sugar and a splash of milk, black tea - I hope that's ok?" he informed her with a timid smile. It wasn't usually like him to make decisions for others, and ordinarly, would have waited for her to answer his questions before actioning it. But, he guessed he was just excited that she was there.

Taking a seat opposite to where she was, he held his tea firmly in between his peaked hands and drew in the vanilla scent of his own chai tea. "So, how's things been?" he asked her. His eyes smoothly glanced at the tea and then back at her face. "I sincerely hope that you feel much better compared to the other day at the duck pond park?" He was genuinely interested in how she was feeling, after all, this is why he suggested that she come to see him. Perhaps there was something he could do for her, make her feel better or help her cope with each passing year of her memories.

[gabriella]

Jacob seemed happy about her complimenting his lovely house, which was a good start in Gabby's opinion. She listened to him talk with much pleasure about his lovely home, which made Gabby smile more warmly. However she cringed slightly when he had to mention his ex, but seeing as it didn't seem to phase him, she thought it would be safe to comment on it.

"Truly wonderful" Gabby said with a smile, "Sorry you had to bring up your ex, but I can see that she left you with something very precious, it truly is a wonderful place Jacob, I'd give anything to have a house like this" Gabby said kindly, and meant it too. Right now Gabby just had a small apartment, but it was enough for her, and she liked it.

When she agreed to have a drink, he went into his kitchen to sort something and then went on a small marathon of what he had to drink. Gabby just smiled from where she was sitting. She found it quite sweet, because the way he was speaking, it was almost as if he was just as nervous as she was about the fact this was like a 'date' in a way.

"Tea is fine Jacob, thank you" Gabby shouted through before he had a heart attack, and then he began to ask what kind, so as she had no preference, she just added, "Surprise me" and smiled again. After some time he came back out with tea for both of them, and asked her if it was alright the way it was. "It's fine Jacob, really" she said as she took the cup from his hands, and then put her hand over his for a gentle re-assuring squeeze. "Thank you" she said, as she took a sip, savouring the taste and warmth. "Lovely" she added, as she took another sip.

He then started to talk about the day before at the park, asking how she was now, and hoping she was feeling much better. He seemed really sincere about it, which made Gabby feel instantly comfortable around him. Looking into the tea for a few seconds, before looking into his face. "I'm actually much better thank you Jacob, I think talking to you that day actually helped me more than I realise" she replied softly. "All I need to do now is combat the demons completely, then I might begin to enjoy my birthday again" she added a little sadly, but still with a warm smile.

Somehow she had a feeling sitting talking things over with Jacob might actually help her to do that. Certainly he had helped on the day itself.

[jacob]

Jacob waved his hand dismissively as she appologized for almost making him mention his ex, "Oh, I don't really care anymore, to be frank." he smiled warmly at her, of course deep down he did still resent that she left him alone, but at the same time gave him freedom to do as he wanted and live his life a little more freely then when he was in the relationship with her. He liked that Gabby wasn't fussed with the tea that he got her, and because of that it relaxed him, allowing his back to push back into the chair comfortably.

His eyes focused on her as she spoke about how much better she felt after she talked to him, just two days previous. "Well, that's why we're doing this," he replied grinning at her. "It's just a manner of where we're going to start is going to be the hard part," Jacob added after taking a sip of his tea and placing it down on the coffee table in front of them. Clearing his throat and frowned, thinking about what he was going to ask her, he sat in silence for a moment before lifting his head and speaking.

"So, ok, I guess we start from the start. You already mentioned that you were upset with your parents about the bike, but how did they react to you?" he asked titling his head to the side and peering at her, his expression serious but kind.

[gabriella]

Gabby breathed a sigh of relief when he said it didn't bother him much anymore. "That's good to hear then" she said softly, she'd hate to think she'd brought up something which would have upset him. She was trying to make a friend here, not an enemy. Gabby didn't know what it was like to lose someone close to you in that respect. Gabby had never had a special man in her life. She had been alone for as long as she could remember.

She took another sip or two of her tea. "Yes, and I'm glad we've decided to do this, I just know it will help, I need to talk about it" she replied, with a smile. In fact she wasn't sure she'd be able to concentrate on telling him anything, because she found herself constantly losing herself in his eyes. "Finding the right place to start is always the hardest" she said with a smile, although she knew the easiest place to start would be the very beginning. But exactly how much does she tell him this time? He already knew the basics of what happened that night.

"The beginning, is always the easiest" she agreed with a smile, and then he started asking a question. She had to track her mind back to that day, not that it was difficult, that day was etched on her memory forever. But how had her parents reacted to her. She had to think. She had moaned at them for about ten minutes wanting to go out on her bike, but it had been raining. So they had said no. They hadn't even shouted at her, they just said no to her several times.

"They weren't even angry with me Jacob, I remember, they were very calm, they just kept saying no, it was too wet, I had to wait until the next day, but I screamed at them, and demanded to go out. This went on back and forth with each other for about ten minutes, and the whole time, they were calm. Never raised their voices once, nor did they try to scold me. Yet I could feel this burning anger within me, and then I just burst into flames" she knew that talking about it in such detail would get her upset, and of course just as she imagined they would, the tears began to fall.

[jacob]

Jacob listened intently to her as she poured her unwanted memory out to him, leaning forward and pushing over the box of tissues in her direction he latched onto his tea and continued drinking. He thought for a moment, tilting his head to the side and narrowed his eyes, concentrating.

"Do you think that their reaction was what you wanted at the time?" he asked looking up at her, "Or, more to the point, were you fishing for them to bite back?" he wondered if it was just her being a child that would have caused the effect of the combustion. And maybe perhaps it was her overreaction that started the effects of her powers. There had to be some tying factor that made her mad in the first place, other than what Gabby had mentioned previously to him.

Looking at her, she looked distraught, upset and he wanted to do what he could to help her. Even if it was just trying to talk some things through, that would have to help. It had helped him, anytime he had an issue, his family would be there to listen to him.

[gabriella]

Gabby couldn't believe she'd allowed herself to get so upset, she hadn't meant to. Even though she had a feeling she might cry, she hadn't wanted to cry. However when he pushed the box of tissues over toward her, she took a few and dabbed at her eyes and nose. "Thank you" she said softly for the tissues. Then he asked another question which she felt was a little more difficult to answer, or more to the point, she wasn't sure how to answer.

Taking in a deep breath before she continued, to make sure she had composed herself enough, she began to answer his question again.

"To be honest, I'm not sure, I mean, I'm not sure what I had expected of them. No, I don't think I expected them to shout at me or anything, I guess I was just a demanding child, my parents seldom scolded me or shouted at me, I guess I was what some people would say, a spoiled child" Gabby went on to explain, hoping she had answered the question correctly.

It was definitely easy to talk to Jacob about it, but it was difficult thinking about what happened, and trying to make sense of it all, but she really hoped talking about it would help her in the long run. She was a little more composed now, but decided to keep the tissues beside her, just in case she would need them again a little later.

[jacob]

Her explination was self explanitory, and Jacob nodded along to her with a small comforting smile on his lips. At least she was talking about things she wouldn't get caught up with, as dramatic and uneasy it was, she was doing the best she could and he was proud of her. Lowing his eyes down to his tea, he licked his lips for another question or more, a statement leading up into a question. "So, you would assume that you over reacted, and by your parents not reacting how you wanted them, tore you to act like a child?" he asked, as he leaned his elbow on the arm chair and rested his chin in his hands. "I think it's safe to say that you were acting just as a child would, nothing out of the ordinary." his voice was calm as he spoke to her, reassuring her with a slight friendly grin as he continued to sip his tea. Assuming that this part was already accounted for, she was just being a child and that's what children did when they were eager for something, even when they couldn't get it - they'd still act like a child.

"Moving on..." he suggested lifing his eyes to meet hers, "the moment that you weren't given permission to ride your bike, was the first instance that this ability you had, brought to the plate, yes?" he asked, narrowing his eyes thoughtfully.

[gabriella]

As Jacob put into better words how she had acted at the time, she nodded her head slowly in agreement. What he was saying was pretty much what had happened. He was putting it into better words, but then that was his job she thought. Well, no not his job, but it's what he was planning on doing at this meeting. What he was doing did seem to be working. Even if she had got a little upset at the beginning, talking about it the way she was, it felt like a release to Gabby.

"I'd say that's exactly what it was Jacob, I was just being and acting how a child normally would in such circumstances" she said pretty much agreeing with what he was saying. Already just hearing it put like that was making her feel a lot better about herself. Like she could maybe start to believe that she wasn't to blame.

When he lifted his eyes to meet hers, she felt she couldn't take her eyes off of him, in fact if she was honest, she hadn't taken her eyes off of him the whole time since she'd walked into his lovely home. He then spoke of moving on. His question this time was easy, because he had more or less just given the answer and was looking for clarification. Which she could do.

"Yes, that was the first time I realised I had this ability, this what I thought back then, horrific ability" Gabby said slowly with a soft smile, as she still held her gaze into his eyes.

[jacob]

There was a glimmer of hope in her eyes, which he could see. He knew that this was going to help her, and the fact that she was so happy to comply with the suggestion, hoped for her sake - that it was eventually going to ease some of the pain. As Gabby was accepting that her behaviour at the time was just an act of an ordinary child, he could almost see the relief that lifted off her shoulders. Already, she looked better - emotionally.

Gabby agreed with him, this was the first time and one of the turning points in her life in regards to her ability. Thinking some more, he nodded to himself and relaxed in his chair. "I think, just in my opinion, doesn't mean that it's right or anything - that your emotional state as a child, only contributed to the upset of your powers. They manifested with how you reacted and I honestly think that you shouldn't torture yourself with the past because of what you did. You had no control over the matter, so the first time that it happened, you weren't to know how to control it." Jacob spoke smoothly, letting the words roll off his tongue soundly.

He was really just stating the obvious, something she'd be able to figure out for herself if she really sat down and contemplated the logistics. Or more to the point, he was just giving her a small reassurance that it wasn't her to blame for something that would have happened at any other stage in her life. "I think it would have happened regardless of timing, if not at that exact moment, then it would have been another time," there was a small flicker of an understanding smile as he watched her. "It was unfortunate that your parents got the brunt of it, and for that the scars will never heal, but I think you just need to understand that what you know now, was something you didn't know back then - and ultimately, the breaking of your powers was just uncontrollable and honestly, a horrible chain of events."

[gabriella]

Gabby couldn't believe how much better she was feeling. She had no idea at all, just talking to someone about it all could make it all so much easier, but that was all it had taken. A few words with someone who was quite simply a stranger in a lot of the sense and it had helped. It had really helped a lot. Even if she still had a little way to go yet. However, the longer she was here, and the more she was talking to him, the more she realised that might like to get to know him more, and not just for his ability to delve into her mind and make her feel better about things.

She listened to him intently, her eyes glued to his, while he went on to explain in his own opinion the result of the event. He had said it didn't mean what he was saying was right, but as she listened to him, it all started to make a lot more sense to her, and in Gabby's eyes what he was saying was right. She nodded her head in agreement as she continued to listen to what he was saying.

Telling her that she had no control over it, with it being the first time her powers manifested really helped, and that was the final turning point for her to realise that it was just a tragic accident, and that it could have happened at any time, in any place to any one. Still, even the realisation of this caused her to tear up again, not because she was sad, but this time because she felt relieved, felt completely released from the demons of her past. She finally felt like she could move on with her life.

"You're right Jacob" she said simply, but meaningfully with a warm smile, through her now happy tears, she dabbed at her eyes again. It was like a darkness had been lifted off of her, and there was light shining through, Gabby could have sworn she was glowing right now, and maybe she was, who knew.

Then he continued to talk more, and repeated back to her exactly what she had been thinking herself. That really it could have happened any time, any where to any one. Having him say exactly what she had been thinking, finally made her feel a whole lot better.

"You're completely right Jacob, all this time, I've been keeping it bottled up inside, blaming myself, but I was just a child, acting like a child with an ability which just flared up and I had no control over, I can sit here now and no longer blame myself" she said in a relieved voice. She couldn't explain how good it felt to no longer blame herself for the unfortunate event which took place all those years ago.

"Thank you Jacob, I'm really not sure how I can ever thank you enough, repay you enough, all those words have made me feel like a free woman" she said softly, still holding his gaze, and right at that moment, she just wanted to take his face in her hands and kiss him, but she somehow felt it was a little inappropriate.

[jacob]

He knew she was processing it all in her mind, becuase as he spoke he could see her eyes almost glaze over as she thought back to the time of the incident and understood the significance of her being only a child when her powers manifested. It wasn't her fault and as she said that he was right, he immediately saw the relief lift from her face - and she sat there, however upset, happier and freer. All he could do was smile happily for her, he knew he'd be able to help her - even just for a small while until she could process at home and put everything into perspective. When she agreed that she was only a child he nodded and listened to her, a small satisfied smile placed on his lips, even her voice sounded relieved.

Jacob lifted a hand and shook his head, "There's no need to repay me, or thank me. I can already see it in your eyes," he said dismissing the gesture politely. For a moment, he locked eyes with her, bring the last dregs of the luke warm tea to his lips and sipped the rest of it, placing the mug back onto the coffee table at his knees. "... but we're not over yet." He added with what felt like an ironic smile, just as he was about to open his mouth and ask her another question, the wall clock sounded as an hour had passed.

Jacob turned his head and barked out a laugh, "I can't believe that went so quickly!" he said shaking his head and turning back around. "Are you sure you don't want anything to eat, I'm pretty hungry?" he offered, placing his hands on the arms of the chair, ready to push himself up and out to go back into the kitchen.