Feeling Maternal, I'm Scared [Cameron]

[rosie]

25th April, 2009

Rosie had been dating Ira for a few months now, well at least six months or so and after her brush with death she started to realise just how short life really could be. At such a young age she had already lost her mother and three of her brothers, and then she almost died herself. Well actually she had died, twice, and both times her brothers sent her back saying it wasn't her time.

However recent events had made Rosie begin to think that with life being short her maternal clock was also ticking away, she wasn't getting any younger. Rosie was now twenty four and she felt if she didn't have a child soon the opportunity would pass her by, but at the same time she didn't feel comfortable about bringing the subject up with Ira because she knew how awkward he had been around her at the start, and it had really taken this length of time for them to get anywhere near that intimate.

She decided the only thing she could do before approaching Ira about the topic was to talk to her brother first and get his views on it. He would probably tell her she was still very young and had plenty time ahead of her for such things, but Rosie really was beginning to think differently. She had called him earlier to say she was going to visit him.

Now she was in his apartment, and she sat on the sofa and began twirling her hands around in anxiety. "So Cameron, how are you?" she asked first of all, she had told him on the phone she wanted to talk to him about something, so he would be expecting her to start talking, but she just wanted to see how he was doing first before she started pouring out her own problems to him.

[cam]

Cameron just got offered a job two days before and he took the job. He always wanted to go into space and now he would have an opportunity to go into space. He knew the risks, but really didn’t care of this opportunity. His childhood dream finally came into play and that was all he could be thankful for. He know wondered to himself how he was going to tell his sister the good news.

He was thinking of calling her with the great news, but she had already called him. On the phone it sounded urgent, but then again he always misinterpreted people on the phone. He didn’t know why, but he always did. It was just a part of his nature and he hated that. He hated that he had to be that way especially on the phone. He hung up the phone and decided that he would wait for her.

He waited for his sister, debating in his head if he should tell her the news or just wait and see what she had to say. It was kind of awkward to even think that way. As thoughts raced through his mind the doorbell rang and his sister was at the door. He let her in and told her to go into the living room. He would be there shortly with drinks. A few minutes later, he arrived with drinks and sat down.

Cameron sat across in a recliner as he began to wonder if he should tell his sister. He decided that it could wait. It wasn’t going to be a burden on him any time soon. “I’m alright” He said as he leaned back in his chair. “So what did you want to talk about, you sounded urgent on the phone” He said as he waited for her response.

[rosie]

Rosie smiled when Cameron came into the living room and handed her a drink. "Thanks Cam" she said, as she took a sip and waited for him to tell her how he was doing. She smiled again when he said he was alright. "That's good" she replied, and took another sip of her drink. That was when he asked her what she wanted to talk about.

"It's not urgent per say, I just" she was finding it awkward to bring the subject up with her brother. After all she knew he was going to say she was talking to the wrong person about it. She shrugged her shoulders back and smiled weakly before continuing to talk.

"Before you say I shouldn't be talking to you about it, I kind of wanted your advice, or more your input before I talk to Ira" Rosie began, explaining at least a bit of the reason why she was in Cameron's apartment. At least now he knew it was something she wanted to talk to Ira about, rather than Cameron.

"Well you know I nearly died during that bank heist? Well the past few weeks I've been thinking maybe life is too short you know?" she said in a subtle way, hoping he would catch her clues, but he probably wouldn't, it was just that Rosie didn't feel comfortable blurting it out right away in case she embarrassed Cameron by talking about something he might not feel completely comfortable with.

[cam]

He nodded at his sister and took a drink of his drink also. He began to wondered what she meant by that’s good and then realized that he had said that he was just fine. He hated to miss interrupt conversations, but he seemed to do it a lot. Oh well, he wasn’t going to admit his fault it was just idiotic at times.

He raised an eyebrow as she seemed to stumbled with the conversation at hand. He wondered what it could be. He sighed and just looked at his sister wondering what she wanted to talk about. He also wanted to talk about something, but it was only fair for her to go first.

He just looked at her wondering when she would get on with the subject, but it seemed that she making up conversation. It wasn’t a waste of time or him, but he was wondering what it was. He liked when people got straight to point and not stall, but that was just him.

Cameron took a sip of his drink and nodded when she told him that she nearly died. He began to wonder what this had to do with Ira. He was starting to feel uncomfortable with the situation at hand mainly because he didn’t know what was going on and didn’t want to be rude, but he finally had to be rude. “Get to the point, Rosie” He finally managed to say.

[rosie]

Rosie knew she had been stalling with what she wanted to speak to Cameron about, but she wasn't doing it on purpose, or to annoy Cameron at all. It was simply because she wasn't sure how to approach the subject with him. She somehow thought if she just came right out with it, he'd not know what to say or where to look. She thought stalling, would break it gently to him. Maybe she was wrong.

Turns out she was wrong, when Cameron eventually told her to get to the point. "Sorry Cameron, it's just awkward" she began, swallowing hard again, and then taking a deep breath before continuing.

"Thing is, I've been feeling very maternal the past week, and I know I should speak to Ira about it, I'm just, well you know how he is, sort of awkward, has been from the first moment we met, I'm just not sure how he's going to take it, you know?" Rosie explained. There it was out, she'd finally told Cameron what was on her mind and what she wanted to speak about.

Now she was beginning to worry about what Cameron would say, how he would take it, what his advice to her would be. She wasn't even sure if his advice would be what she would want to hear, and more, she was worried that it might cause a fight between them both if she didn't like what he had to say.

[cam]

To be honest Cameron didn’t like be stalled if someone had to say something he would love them to just spit it out, not just stall. That was the only thing that he hated, was people stalling at not exactly getting to the point. Sure this was his sister who was stalling, but he figured she knew better and he thought wrong. Oh well.

Cameron couldn’t have it being stalled anymore and he just had to come out with it. He really didn’t mean to rude about it. He just looked at her and she finally spoke. He just gave a weak smile as he waited for her to begin. He also wanted to tell her something, but decided to not, not yet. It was only fair or so he thought.

Cameron couldn’t believe what he was hearing. He just gave her an awkward look. He just blinked and he was shocked. He was shocked indeed because she should have been talking to Ira about this. He just looked at her and sighed, “Well, you should talk to him, not me” He concluded. “But if you want to do that, I really don’t care, but shouldn’t you get married first before that?” He asked shaking his head not sure if that was a good answer.

Anthony would know what to do, but he was dead and here he was the only surviving brother and he couldn’t do anything. He felt like an idiot with these kinds of things. He sighed and finally decided to say what he was going to say, “Oh by the way…” He said trailing off “I got accepted into the space program”

[rosie]

Rosie began to wonder if telling Cameron about it was such a good idea after all, especially when she caught his expression. She realised she was making him feel awkward, but Cameron was the only older sibling she had left, and she thought that he might be able to give her some much needed advice, however, what he said wasn't really what she had wanted to hear.

"I know I should be talking to him, but I wanted your opinion, I mean do you think he'd get too scared and I might lose him? And get married first? I've had a hard enough job just getting Ira to be comfortable around me, I can't see him wanting to talk marriage never mind babies" Rosie blurted out and sighed, and then thought she was going to cry, but she bit back the tears. Cameron was right.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have brought the topic up with you, let's just drop it, I'll speak to Ira, if I lose him, I lose him" she said softly, as she looked away from Cameron and looked at her feet, chewing on the inside of her cheek gently.

Just then Cameron began to speak again, he was telling he had been accepted into the space program. She looked at him again, with a broad smile on her face. "Oh Cameron that's wonderful news, you must be so happy?" she said feeling a little more relaxed now.

[cam]

Cameron just frowned and just looked at his sister. She wanted his advice and he was giving her his advice and sure it was kind of lame, but what else was he going to say? He was asking like his father who was – who knew where their father was. He just sighed and looked at the ground not exactly knowing what else to do it would seem.

He nodded as his sister spoke to him. He knew she wasn’t going to like his advice. He was fairly bad with advice. “Oh please, he doesn’t seem like the kind of guy to you know dump you, he just seems scared that is all, c’mon guys are scared at times” He said shaking his head. He was trying to make his sister better. He was making her…want to be this way it would seem.

“Don’t say that, you won’t lose him” He voice echoed back. He really didn’t want his sister to lose Ira. They seemed like a very cute couple and he wanted them to be with one another forever. He liked the guy and wanted the guy to be his brother-in-law. However, that was just who he was. He just sighed not knowing what else to say.

“Of course, I’m happy” He said with a smile. He was glad that he changed the subject. “Just need to tell dad, and Evan well, he already knows” He said shaking his head. “Evan wants me to take a video camera up in space and do random interviews from space” He said with an awkward look on his face. “Only Evan” He said with a slight chuckle.

[rosie]

Rosie hadn't meant to blurt it out about losing Ira over the baby thing quite the way she had, but she had blurted it out and now Cameron was telling her that Ira wasn't the type of guy to dump her like that over it. She nodded her head slowly, but kept her head down at the same time. However she knew most of what Cameron was saying was right. "Yeah I guess, and I know some guys can get scared, but Ira, he's always taken longer to get used to things, I don't know I just..." she trailed off, because she knew Cameron wasn't completely comfortable with talking about it.

Well it would seem Cameron didn't think she'd lose Ira, so she had to believe that. She nodded her head again slowly, and this time turned to face him, and smiled softly, "Yeah, maybe you're right, but only one way to find out, right?" she said, as she was of course referring to talking to the man in question.

The conversation of course had went on to Cameron now and his acceptance into the space program. She really was happy for her brother, she knew he had wanted it for quite some time. "It's wonderful news, it really is and I'm sure dad will be just as delighted for you" Rosie said with another smile, a wider smile. Then she laughed when he mentioned Evan, "Yeah, that sounds like crazy cousin Evan alright, I'm sure you'll have a blast."

Well her brother was happy which was great, now all Rosie needed was to have this talk with Ira, hope that it went well and maybe then she'd be happy too.

[cam]

Cameron didn’t want his sister to lose Ira over this. Nevertheless, the both of them were adults and they shouldn’t be acting like a child toward adults things. There was time when childish behavior got old and he hoped that his sister was adult-like, mature if you will to have a conversation with Ira. Cameron liked Ira and didn’t want the two of them to separate over this issue. It was just part of life.

“Well, maybe he won’t take longer” He said with a smile looking at his sister. “Reality will set in sooner or later, Rosie” He said shaking his head. “I’m positive he will be fine with that decision or he might want to wait, I dunno” Cameron said as he looked down at his floor unsure what else to say. This really wasn’t his expertise. This should be discussed with Ira and not himself.

“Only way to find out Rosie, is to ask” He said as he looked up at his sister with a soft smile. He hoped that time would tell if those two were prepared to be parents or perhaps they needed more time and he wasn’t the type of person to evaluate that. He was just her brother and he shouldn’t have says in ‘private’ life of his sister’s relationship. Well, just this part.

“Oh, I’m sure Bug Guy will be enthusiastic about it” He said in a sarcastic tone. He chuckled a bit. “Just being sarcastic there” He said with a smile and nodded. “Of course, I will have a blast” He said as he looked at the time. “Crap, I would love to stay and chat, but I have to be on a plane in the next two hours and I haven’t packed” He said shaking his head. “You want me to walk you home!?” He offered as he finished his drink.

[rosie]

Rosie nodded her head giving Cameron a warm smile. She knew he was right, Ira wasn't the type of guy to give up on their relationship he would just be more apt to admit if he wasn't ready or not. And if Ira wasn't ready then Rosie would just have to learn to accept that and move on with their life until he was ready. But Rosie knew Ira was older than she was, out of the two of them at one point she did begin to wonder if Ira would be the one to have spoken about the subject before she did.

"He probably will be fine, well like you said before, I can't see him ending the relationship over the question, and if he isn't ready and I have to wait, then so be it" Rosie explained, and left it that, finally dropping the subject with Cameron which she knew he would be pleased about. She knew he loved her dearly, but she also knew that sometimes he felt uncomfortable with the topics of conversation she would choose to discuss with him, but that's what happened when you didn't have a mom to discuss things with.

"Yeah, that's what I meant, only one way to find out, and that is to ask, and that's what I'll do" Rosie said with a smile, and she just had to hope Ira wouldn't get too uncomfortable with the discussion.

"Yeah, Bug Guy, good old dad with his fascination for insects" Rosie said, laughing hard, even more so when Cameron admitted he was being sarcastic there. "I know you will" she replied when he agreed he would have a blast. Then Cameron said that he had to stop talking as he had a plane to catch in two hours and did she want to be walked home.

"Sure, that'll be great, and no worries, am sure we'll catch up again soon Cameron" Rosie said as she stood up, putting on her jacket and making her way to the door, waiting for Cameron to walk with her.

[Finished!]