Uncontrollable Circumstances [Katie]

[william]

6th April 2009

William walked down the street from the park he was just having lunch in. He loved sitting on the park bench, just watching the world go by. He loved helping people, but also loved to watch what they do in normal live. He rounded the corner, walking down the street where his apartment resided. Though he should say that it was also Katie's, as she moved in recently. But William hadn't seen a lot of Katie the last couple of days.

Most nights she was out, and when he got up early to go for a jog, she was just coming in. He decided not to question her, as she was almost of age, and Katie was an adult in his eyes. But yesterday morning, he felt that she was a little quiet, but didn't push for answers. As he walked up the steps, William fumbled in his pocket for his set of keys, picking out the correct one. He inserted it into the lock of the main door to the building, and opened it. Once he got inside, William walked up the stairs to the second floor, and unlocked the door to the apartment.

He set his bag and lunch container on the small dining room table, and went to sit down on the lounge in the living room. He sensed that someone else was in the apartment, and thought that maybe it was one of his siblings. They both had a key, so wouldn't be sure who it was until he saw them. William got up, an headed in the direction of the bed rooms.

[katie]

Katie hadn't been herself for a while now, well the past four days, ever since she had to bring back Josh's body when she found him dead. She had been so distraught about it, she couldn't even continue living in the apartment they shared and asked William if she could move into his apartment and he'd agreed. William was the only other sibling Katie was close to, it had always been William and her twin Josh, Jason was a brother, but they had never quite gelled for some reason.

William had always treated Katie like his baby sister regardless of her age. She remembered how they spent the last Christmas eve together, and how she had awed over the lovely jewelery set he had bought her. The ruby and diamond encrusted necklace and earrings set, she had sworn to never take off, and she hadn't.

In fact she was sitting back on her bed twiddling with the pendant in her fingers as she thought about what she did two nights ago. Even if she had wanted to forget about it she couldn't, as it was splashed across The Chronicle, it was main headlines because she was the Vice President's sister. Well it wasn't her fault he was Vice President, he was too god damned young anyway she thought.

Katie was like a completely different person, between Anthony rejection of her making her think she was nothing special and then Josh's death just sent her into a complete melt down. She heard the apartment door opening and closing and she knew it would be William, whom she had been trying to avoid ever since she had moved in simply because she hadn't wanted to speak about how she felt.

Right now she was thinking about heading out for the night again, and was already dressed in one of her small tight skirts and a new low cut stringy straps vest top. Once again her make-up was smeared onto her face so thick it actually hid the natural beauty Katie actually did have. She then got up off the bed, as she was about to head out, and of course as she did so, she saw William who was on his way to the bedrooms.

Well she couldn't ignore him now, could she? "Hi William" she said as she couldn't even look him in the eyes, "Just about to head out actually" she added, as she tried to make her way past him. She knew he wouldn't like the way she was dressed or the make-up, because Katie had completely changed, and she knew he would think that she was no longer the baby sister he knew and treated like a princess.

[ooc: I think we should go on the fact that William should know about Josh's death since Katie had to bring the body home, but maybe they've just avoided talking about it until this point. Of course the funeral would be or should be imminent]

[william]

William almost ran into Katie as she headed out her bedroom door. He heard her acknowledge him, and was about to keep going as she said she would going out, when he put his arm in front of her. "No way are you going out looking like that." William's eyes looked her over, shocked at the clothes and make up Katie had on. All he could do was shake his head with a look of disgust. "Katherine Moore, into the living room right now." He gestured her towards the direction of the room.

William followed Katie, and sat himself next to her on the lounge. He knew that this was the time for her to admit her true feelings towards everything that had happened over the last few days. Though somehow he thought that other things were contributing to her sudden personality change. But maybe not, as Josh's death had effected her more than anyone else. "Katie, I just wanted to make sure that you are okay. You just seem so different lately, and the way you dress has also brought these feelings of mine into check. I think I should step in right now, and stop you from going out, but I know that I shouldn't as you are almost of age."

William looked at Katie silently for a few moments, just trying to think of what else he wanted to say. Taking a deep breath, trying to not let anger get in the way, he continued. "I still sometimes think of you as this little girl who needs protecting. I think you still protecting, but looking like the way you do right now, is only going to bring you trouble I don't think I can handle right now. You know that Josh's funeral is tomorrow, I really need the family's support right now....your support. I feel that you are always trying to avoid any talk about it, and that makes me wonder if you even care."

William can't bare to think about that, but it was how he was feeling over the last couple of days. He felt like he was the one who was dealing with Josh's death in the best way he could, arranging the funeral, and dealing with the appartment, trying to do with what he could with his belongings. Just thinking of all of his stuff, made William get a little teary eyed. Looking around his own apartment, William wondered where it would all go. Did any of them want any of it for themselves? Should he just give it away? He honestly didn't want to deal with it right now. All he wanted to deal with right now was Katie, and her change of behaviour.

[katie]

Katie knew she wouldn't have got passed William looking and dressed the way she was. But she had to give it a try. Katie and William were probably the closest out of all the siblings due to the fact he was the oldest and she was along with Josh, or had been along with Josh the youngest. Naturally Katie was just as close to Josh because he was her twin. The arm trying to hold her back wasn't enough to deter her, but when he said her name in full, she knew she couldn't ignore it. When ever William said her name in full he meant business. She sighed, and followed him into the living room throwing herself into the sofa and looking down at her feet.

She couldn't even bring herself to look into William's eyes and yet a few weeks ago you'd have had difficulty tearing the two of them apart. Of course Katie still loved her eldest brother, it was just she blamed herself for Josh's death, if she'd went back inside instead of waiting in the car then she might have been able to save him. However after the disastrous date with Anthony she was already on a slippy slope into a melt down, Josh's death was just the final straw which made it happen.

As he began to speak asking if she was alright, Katie sniffed back some tears, she didn't want to tell him what had happened a couple of nights ago because he would be so disappointed in her, but at the same time she felt so disappointed in herself she wondered if telling him would be a good idea after all. Then there was the whole Josh thing, she hadn't really spoken about it since she'd brought the body home.

She looked over at him, "I'm fine" she said lying as she looked away again. As he then went on about stopping her from going out but knowing he couldn't really do it anyway, she just nodded her head, "Well don't stop me then." She hated being this way, especially with William, but it was either that or break down and tell him everything.

She knew what was going to come next and she was right, the whole 'still think of you as my baby sister, still need protecting' thing. Alright he didn't exactly use those words, but it was what he meant. She sighed, and folded her arms across her chest. Then the switch came, he mentioned Josh and the funeral, and that's when Katie cracked and couldn't take anymore especially when he asked if she even cared.

"Of course I care William, how can you think I don't?" she yelled at him through the tears she had been trying to hold back. "What the hell do you think this is all about huh?" she shouted, as she used her arms to point to herself, from her head to her toes. Although she knew that it wasn't just Josh's death causing this turn around it was Anthony and the way he had just more or less dismissed a relationship, saying it would be better to be friends.

"It's not just Josh" she said realising she was yelling at her eldest brother she adored, "But you'd never understand" she added in just as soft a voice as she looked away from him again and began to sob properly. Everything had finally got to her and broke her walls down.

[william]

William noticed Katie trying to hide the tears she was holding back. Her eyes were glistening a little, which made his heart break a bit. But he kept going with what he thought she needed to know. William hated seeing his siblings hurting, but he knew that it was for the best. Unfortunately they have to make some mistakes before they go back on the right path again.

When Katie said she was fine. But William could tell she wasn't, because she looked away. Then she said don't stop her from going out, William wanted to. He wanted to keep her safe right here, and not let you go. William wanted Katie to be the same person for the rest of her life. He felt that he was losing her right now, and didn't know if he had the strength to stop her from walking out the door, and maybe not ever coming back.

William knew that telling her about the funeral and all would do something. And boy was William right. Katie began to really tell him how she felt. She began to yell at him about caring, and why William thought she didn't. He watched the tears fall from her eyes, and watched her gesture with her arms, pointing to herself. Then just as she started yelling, her voice was then quiet, stating that he would never understand.

During her now sobbing, William could not say a word. All he could do was move closer to her,and put his arms around her. In a soft voice, William began to talk. "I am sorry for putting this all on you. I just had to let out everything that I was feeling. I think just looking at what you were wearing, set me off. I just don't want to lose you."

William then remembered that Katie said that it wasn't just Josh, and that he wouldn't understand. Moving away from Katie, so he could look at her again, he was curious as to what she meant. "Katie, what did you mean when you said that I wouldn't understand. Is there something else that has happened that I should know about?" He felt that he had to be the grown up big brother again with her. William didn't want to make her feel that he was being demanding. He softened his gaze on her, hopeing that she would open up.

[katie]

As Katie sobbed she felt William put his arms around her, and it made her want to snuggle into his hug like she used to do when she was younger. So she did just that, she wrapped her arms around his neck and held onto him tightly, just like she was a young girl again and let the tears fall. Still unsure of where this conversation would eventually lead, but for the moment she felt she needed the comfort, so she was going to take it. When William did speak to her, his words were soft, and she knew it was going to be about what she was wearing. She was dressed in a way she had never usually dressed. Well she had for the past couple of nights.

She didn't answer him when he mentioned the clothes however, instead just remaining to hold onto him for comfort, as she let the tears continue to fall. It was only when he said he didn't want to lose her, did she even attempt to say something. She didn't pull out of the hug exactly, but she turned her head to face him, eyes swollen and red from the tears, and in a raspy voice due to the dryness of the tears she said, "You're not going to lose me William."

Something in her had been lost however, her innocence, and that was something she wasn't sure William would ever understand or be happy about. Yet it was something she would have to tell him eventually. It wasn't as if William hadn't had sexual relationships in the past, she knew he had, but he was older, and although Katie was old enough two years ago, she had always wanted to keep her innocence until the right man had come along, she had thought that was Anthony, she had been wrong.

It was William who eventually broke the hug and looked at her asking what she had meant about him not understanding and it being more than Josh. Now she would have to tell him what was really bothering her, and right now Katie wasn't sure if she was ready to tell everything. Maybe she could just start with Anthony, that was the easiest place to start, and besides he was instrumental in all of this.

She sighed softly, "You remember Anthony right? One of my closest friends and at Christmas you had asked me if I had a boyfriend and I said no, but maybe?" She explained, refreshing his memory in case he had forgotten although it was unlikely William would forget anything she had told him, when it came to Katie, William usually remembered everything.

"Well we went on this date, and I was really into it, I thought maybe I was in love after all, and then he just said it wasn't working out the way he had hoped at the end." Alright, so having a friend saying that maybe there wasn't more to the friendship wasn't such a bad thing, normally. But to Katie it had been catastrophic, she hadn't had any real boyfriends in her life, and when Anthony said this to her, she automatically began to think there was something wrong with her.

"It made me begin to think that maybe I'm not attractive enough, and that's what I know, I'm not attractive to guys, and this" She said as she pointed to what she was wearing and doing a circular motion with her hand around her face, "This makes me feel attractive, it makes me feel wanted, at least that's how I felt the other night." Damn it she thought, she'd gone too far, now he'd want to know what she meant by the other night and how she felt attractive. Too late, she would have told him the rest eventually anyway.

[william]

William listned to Katie as she refreshed him memory about Anthony. He nodded in acknowledgement, but only remember a little bit about him. William let her finish telling him about it all. He had no idea that the guy called the relationship quits. Then Katie said she thought she wasn't attractive enough. "Katie. It doesn't matter what you wear, but not what you are wearing. You are beautiful inside and out." William had to rethink what he just said. Maybe it was too corny, or maybe it was just something he had to say.

Then she said that she what she was wearing made her feel attractive. The next part of that sentence then made William look straight at her. What did she mean by that? Looking concerned, William back away from her a little in order to read what she was thinking. "Katie, what do you mean by that? What happened the other night?" William didn't know what to say or do. A million things were racing through his mind, thinking the worst.

William thought back to a few nights ago. He was at the apartment most nights, and over the last 3 or 4 nights, he had gotten to bed at a reasonable time. Now that he thought about it, he did check on Katie in her room those nights, and thought he saw her ... or so he thought ... in her bed. "What time did you get home those night? I hope that you weren't out doing something that you shouldn't have."

Once again William felt that he was being the overprotective brother, but he felt he had to. He had to know the truth behind what Katie had just mentioned. If she didn't confide in him, who else was she going to talk to?

[katie]

Katie knew William would have said something about her being beautiful inside and out and that it shouldn't matter what she wore normally. Of course he was going to say that, he was older adoring brother, but it didn't matter how often he said it, right now Katie didn't feel attractive and she didn't think she looked it either. However, looking down at what she was currently wearing, she knew it was hardly attractive, it was slutty for want of a better word.

"You're my brother, you have to say nice things about me." Katie said as she sighed, desperate to try and believe what he was saying about her, but thinking completely the opposite. She was going to be twenty one in a few days, and she didn't have a boyfriend, and hadn't ever really had one, didn't that prove there was something wrong with her?

And of course she was right, William asked what she meant by 'the other night', and now she was going to have to tell him what happened and possibly slightly sooner than she had planned. "Well at a night club, I saw a guy who was pretty handsome, I had a few drinks by then, and I sort of put the moves on him." She began to explain, hoping she'd get away with stopping there. Could she really tell him the rest? If she did, what would he think of her? She knew if it were Jason, he'd probably disown her or something along those lines.

He then asked what time she had been getting home at. She hadn't been that late some of the nights, but the night with that one guy, well it had been late enough. She looked away from him, and sort of mumbled the words, "Not sure, around 3am maybe." Truth was, she had no idea what time she actually got home at that night, she just knew it was late and she had gone for a shower because she had felt dirty and then went straight to her bed.

[william]

William thought that Katie might have gotten back at him for telling the whole beauty speech, but he felt she needed to hear it. He shook his head, and got a glimpse of Katie looking down at her clothes. William thought that maybe she was having seconds thoughts on what she was wearing. But sometimes you had no idea what she was thinking, so it could be anything. He felt that he didn't know her as well as he used to, which made him sad.

He listened to Katie as she explained what she meant. William was not sure what she was going to say, and was taken aback with what she was telling him. When she said she put the moves on him, his thoughts went to something bad happening. "Katie, you know that night clubs just bring out the worst people, most of the time anyway. How did you get in underage anyway." But he soon knew the answer to that, just by looking at the outfit she had on right then in front of him.

When she told him what time she had probably gotten in at, all William could do was to shake his head. "Katie, what am I going to do with you. You know that when you dress like you are dressing, guys are not going to just try and get you drunk. They are going to try and make the moves on you. You should know that. I know what guys are like, I should know, I am one." He hoped in the back of his mind that she would be smart enough to not let that happen.

[katie]

Katie didn't know how much to tell William without hurting his feelings. She knew he really cared about her, he would being so much older than her. If she were to tell him what she did, it might tear him apart, and yet, if she kept it from him and he found out later, it would probably do even more damage to him. He was probably right about the night club bringing out the worst people. Jake had certainly been like that, but then, she was the one who had put the moves on him, before she had agreed to go all the way with him. So, in this instance, she was just as much to blame for it, as Jake had been.

"Guessing the clothes and make-up is what did it." She mumbled slightly in reference to how she was able to get into the club under age. She was going to have to tell him what she done. She couldn't help herself. She was feeling terrible now, dirty. She knew that William would probably be disgusted with her, but she rather him feel that way, than sit there, knowing what she'd done, and not tell him.

When he went on to say about how guys would react to the way she was dressed, she knew he was telling the truth, after all, she may have put the moves on Jake initially, but he certainly hadn't knocked them back. Nor did he change his mind and send her packing when she told him it would be her first time. Katie could actually feel herself begin to cry.

"You're right William, you're absolutely right, and you know what? You're going to hate me." She said, as she could feel the tears flowing down her cheeks. She knew this would cut him in two, and he might even shake her with his own frustration and anger, in fact it would probably lead to another shouting match, but it had to be said.

"The guy I was putting the moves on? We, uhm, well we, you know? I lost my virginity to him, I'm so sorry William." Katie said, and with that she threw herself back on her bed completely disgusted with herself and yet, still not feeling any self control, she could quite happily walk out of the house and go back to that club.

[william]

William waited for Katie to continue when she said he was going to hate her. He began to wonder what she was going to say, thinking the worst. He looked at her, hoping what he was thinking was not what she was going to say. Then tears began to fall down her face. This kind of confirmed what he was indeed thinking. Without her saying anything yet, William just shook his head, and continued to listen to her.

Katie told him what happened at the night club. As she told her very short answer, William felt that he was going to blow his stack. He knew that this would not help the situation, but he couldn't contain himself. "What were you thinking, doing that? Really Katie, I thought you had a better head on your shoulders. Did I not teach you anything?" William began to wave his hands about, getting really pissed off with what his younger sister had done that night.

"Sorry doesn't cut it Katie. What would have happened if ... if you had gotten more than you had bargained for from a guy you didn't know. What is his name? Did you get that much?" William knew he had to stop, or he would do or say something he would regret, but she had a right to know what he was thinking. Of all the people he knew, Katie was not the kind of person to go out and do this. Well he thought so anyway.

With that, William had to get away from her right now. He gave her another look, shock his head, and walked into his own room. All William could do was sit on his bed, and think about what he did wrong for Katie to lead to this kind of life. He knew that all that had happened lately was probably to blame, but still it didn't make sense to him at all.

[katie]

In a way Katie knew what she would get from William, in fact if he hadn't went off at her the way he had, she'd have been very surprised. However, his yelling wasn't helping the situation. She thought William of all would have understood what she had been going through. Other than Josh, William was the only brother she felt really close to. If it had been William who had died, she'd have acted in the exact same way, of that she was sure. Tears rolling down her face, it was a wonder she was able to say anything at all.

"I thought you of all people would have understood my pain and realised what was happening to me." She yelled, just as much as William had yelled at her, if not more. "I told you, Josh's death has had an effect on me, Anthony breaking up with me, look at me? I'm nothing, what guy would ever have wanted me?" She screamed as she got up off the bed. When he said sorry didn't cut it in a way she knew he was right, but she was so annoyed from his earlier yelling that she couldn't admit at that point he was right.

She was so angry she almost didn't hear him asking what his name was. Well she had got that much at least, hadn't she? Well his first name anyway. God it really was all such a mess. "Jake, alright? His name was Jake." She yelled at him, as she watched him walk out of the room and shake his head at her. She wasn't the sister he knew and loved, she knew that, but right now there really was nothing she could do about it. What was done, was done and that was final.

However, knowing William wasn't going to speak to her, and she'd be stuck in her bedroom with her own mess, she thought she might as well go on out anyway, she was after all dressed for going out, so she did just that. Fixing up her eyes before she left, she went out of the house, slamming the main apartment door shut behind her.

{ooc: it's up to you if you feel William needs to post again, or if that Katie one can close it and we can move on to the next Jake/Katie thread which will have to take place in ET 2.0}