Memorial of the Lost (Claire, Erin, Ask)

[west]

Date: April 7th, 2009

West was fitting his tux, while facing the mirror in his room. He was getting ready to say his goodbye to his unborn son. Nathaniel Peter Rosen. West was finally done fixing to look good, though he knew he would probably have to do it again, but he wanted to make sure everything was well. Turning around, he looked at the clock on his nightstand. He noticed that he had a half hour to get to Washington, D.C. when he was still in Costa Verde. That is where this ability of his comes in handy though. He smiled. Quickly locking his front door, he then entered his 2nd story deck. Slowly taking off, he checked his buttons and tie to make sure they were buttoned down and that his tie was tuck in his tux. He took of with a sonic boom.

Roughly about ten minutes later, West had landed a block away from the White House gate. Landing behind some trees, he caught himself as he was coming into fast. Pulling out his comb from the back pocket, he rebrushed his hair. Making sure he looked good. He exited from behind the trees, walking towards the front gates.

He approached the security guard, he gave him a nod. "West Rosen." he said to the guard. The guard was a lazy one at that, and was glad that he didn't have to ask the mans name. He looked at the list of guests that were visiting the presidential family today. And fortunately West's name was actually on it. "Well Mr. Rosen, head on in." he smiled at West as he hit the button to open the gates. West nodded to the guard as he entered through the gates as they were slowly opening.

The path up to the White House was quite a long path. A couple minutes West had finally approached the front door. He lifted his hand and knocked on the big white door. The door then opened, as he was welcomed in bye two more guards. He smiled at them both and stepped inside. A voice then rang the through the entrance hall. "Ah. You must be Mr. Rosen. Claire, would be down in a moment. Could I get you a beverage?" the butler, at least that is what he put on, said.

"No thanks." West replied. He didn't really want to intrude, and he wasn't really thirsty anyways. He continued further into the house, as a picture of a past president had caught his eye. He approached it and examined it in awe.

[clairebear]

The rose bush in memory of Nathaniel Peter Rosen had been in the gardens of the White House for about three weeks now and today Claire had wanted to say a final proper farewell to her lost child. Naturally she had invited West and her father Nathan would appear, or at least she hoped he would appear at some point however she knew he was a busy man and if he couldn't make it today, they could have their own little farewell service in their own time.

While waiting on West to arrive, Claire had been in her room pacing the floor. It had taken weeks of Nathan telling her that losing the baby wasn't her fault, even visiting Sandra in Costa Verde still hadn't done anything to make Claire believe it wasn't her fault. Of course she tried not to show it to Nathan that she still blamed herself because she knew what he would say and do, but deep inside she was still very cut up over it all.

Today she was dressed in a grey trouser suit with a soft pink satin blouse on underneath. It wasn't typical clothing for Claire but she felt the occasion deserved something more formal. Just then there was a knock on her bedroom door telling her that West had arrived. Claire nodded her head and gave a weak smile. She went to the mirror brushed her hair into place and then made her way down the stairs.

As she did so, seeing West there, brought all the good memories back they shared, the memories going through her head right now was the night he had come back and she was still with Sam, she had been wearing both her cheerleader outfits and made him take them off of her. That was the night she had conceived the baby she had now lost. The smile which had been on her face at those earlier memories was now replaced with a frown, as she suddenly felt herself having to bite back the tears.

No longer, able to contain herself, she ran down the remaining stairs and along the corridor until she had virtually thrown herself into West's arms and began sobbing her heart out on his shoulder. They hadn't even reached the gardens or the rose bush yet and already it was too much for her, the blame she felt for the loss of her child was overwhelming.

"I...I...I'm so...sorry" she mumbled between her sobs, she was apologising to West for losing their child.

[west]

Moments later, West noticed that Claire had entered the upper hall above the stairs. It has been a serious long time since he had seen her this beautiful. It was their wedding day, in fact. He smiled at her as she started her way down the stairs. But the smile changed as soon as Claire had rushed toward him, hugging and now sobbing. West was no fighting his cool. It was a men thing, not to cry that is. Claire had then whispered into his ear as she was hugging him, apologizing for the death of their son. That was the final straw for West.

A single tear had fallen across his cheek. He knew it was actually his fault. If he hadn't disappeared like he did, this wouldn't have happened. He hugged her tightly as he began to speak back into Claire's ear. "Don't say that. We both know its my fault. If I hadn't left you." he paused. Two more tears flowed in the same path as the first. "This wouldn't have happened." he finished as he held her tight. He pushed her away and looked her into her eyes.

"I love you, Claire. And I am sorry." he apologized again. He lifted his right hand off Claire's left shoulder and stuck his thumb under her eye. Wiping away the tears. "You ready?" he asked. He breathed heavily as he wiped the rest of the tears off Claire's face. He held out his right arm out so that Claire wrap hers around his. He was going to walk outside for the memorial.

As she slipped her arm through his arms, he wiped his tears away with his handkerchief that was placed in the left pocket of his outer coat. Sticking it back in the pocket. He began to walk through the corridor, following a couple secret service agents. It was something he had to get use to again. Even if they were just married friends, or just friends. It came with the territory, now that she was the President's daughter.

He remembered watching the television as the President told the world that she, Claire, was in fact his daughter. This in fact shocked the world, even him. But that was nearly a half a year ago if not more. So much has happened since then, including his disappearance. After placing the handkerchief back into its pocket, West held Claire's hand that was around his. Squeezing it, hoping that it would give her strength and comfort. He looked at her as he did and smiled.

[clairebear]

Claire held onto West tightly when she had thrown herself into his arms as the tears fell and she had apologised for the death of their child. If she had gone to Washington a lot sooner than she had, then she wouldn't have been in California the day it happened to her, but she had. Nothing could change that day and nothing could replace the loss of their child. At least for now. Claire actually thought she had been handling it all very well, but seeing West and remembering all their happy memories it just made her crumble, and now she wished her dad was with them right at this moment. He was around, but she knew he always had things to finish up and that's probably what he was doing right now.

West was telling her it was his fault, it wouldn't have happened if he hadn't left her. Why were all the men telling her it wasn't her fault it was theirs? First her father Nathan and now West. It wasn't their fault, how could it be? They weren't carrying her child, they weren't the one who got the baby phased out of them it was herself. She sighed gently, still holding onto West tightly and still sobbing. "Not your fault" she said between her tears. "Not your fault, not Peter's fault and it's not dad Nathan's fault either, you're all blaming yourself and it's nobody else's fault but mine" Claire said in an exasperated voice. She knew Nathan would be annoyed if he heard her blaming herself again, but she had been alone with her thoughts for a while today and naturally they had went back into the line of blaming herself all over again.

West then gently pulled out of the hug and looked into her eyes. When he did that though, she felt all the old feelings she had for him come rushing back again. Claire had been very confused since West had come back, one minute her head was telling her to keep it cool with him, and then the next minute her heart would take over. He said he loved her, and she felt her heart melting all over again. She sighed when he apologised again though. Then he was wiping her tears away, and his touch sent shivers up her spine.

"Stop apologising West, please" she said, as she felt herself calming down a little, but knowing deep down inside, especially after West said the words she still had a lot of love for him also. "I love you too West" she said softly, just how much she loved him she wasn't sure. So much had happened between them, that going back to the way things were would take time, for Claire it was all down to learning to trust him again, not love him again. She'd never really stopped loving him.

He held his arm out for her and she took it, and when he asked if she was ready she just nodded her head. Nathan wasn't there yet, but she knew he wouldn't miss it. He would come down as soon as he could of that she was sure. She walked with West out of the White House and down toward the gardens, already Claire knew this was going to be an emotional day for herself. It would be an emotional day for everybody, but at least she would finally get to say a proper goodbye to their son.

They had reached the area where they were going to have the little service around the rose bush which had been planted a week or so earlier than the date of the memorial. Now Claire stood there with her hand in West's gently squeezing it, and already began to think of the son they would never know.

[west]

West knew it was his fault for their son's death and he was sticking to it. The stubborness had been shown here, ignoring Claire as she said it wasn't his fault. She was wrong, and of course he wouldn't say that. So he apologized again and that was it. He ignored her, he had the right to apologize. But he decided to drop the conversation as he caressed her hand as the left the enterance hall and down the corridor to the back of the White House in which the Rose Bush gardens were located.

Walking across the lawn, Claire and West had switched from locking arms to holding hands. As the approached the ceremony location. West took in the details of the set. There was a podium for people to say their good-byes. There were a couple dozen chairs, not alot cause it was mainly immediate family. Seeing the rose bush near the podium with a picture of the antenatal scan of the baby next to it. The baby wasn't born so they would have to have some picture next to it. And also next to the bush was a plaque with the unborn baby's name upon it.

Nathaniel Peter Rosen
March 2009

The plaque was a shady gray metallic color with bold gold letters and border. And of course it was already fixed into the ground. Thankfully it was a beautiful bright cloudless day. And that whoever could make it mostly like would, no traffic.

West held Claire's hand all the way to the chair's that were reserved for them. Allowing for Claire to sit first, he then sat as he picked up the bulletin of the ceremony. This bulletin was filled with the schedule of what was going to take place. Of course as they sat, Claire saw the picture of the antenatal scan. Immediately she had squeezed Wests hand harder than before.

Rev. James T. Karson
Senior Pastor of the White House
((Starting seconds before Claire and West had sat down))

As it was time to start the ceremony, James approached the podium with a bible and bulletin in hand. Waiting for a minute for everyone to quiet down as the respectively. It was a good thing he had to wait for people to quiet down, he had to organize himself.

After it had quieted down and people took their seats, James began with his welcoming everyone. "Welcome everyone to the gorgeous but tragic day. We have all gathered here to wish poor Nathaniel Peter Rosen a sincere farewell as he enters the gates of glorious one." he finishes as he stares up into the sky holding his hands up towards heaven.

"To start off, I will begin with my speech." he began.

"Im truly sorry for the loss of your son, Claire and West. But let us be glad that he has gone in a even greater place. Its always saddening to see one go, even before birth. But in being Gods plan, we should accept this and give glory to Him. But in my regards, I am sorry."

That was pretty much all he had to say. He didn't quite want to over step his bounds, but he think he had atleast once. So thats why he stopped suddenly. Though he was a great man at heart, he always had these kind of problems, saying to much that is.

"And now a word from Claire Petrelli." he smiled as he pointed towards Claire. Stepping away from the podium, he sat in the chair off to the right. As he sat, he was making sure his black suit was fit as a pastoral suit should be.

[clairebear]

West didn't say anything to Claire when she told him not to blame himself for their son's death. She knew whose fault it was, it was her own. Even though she had promised her father Nathan over and over that she knew it wasn't her fault, she still blamed herself deep down. In all honesty if it weren't for her ability she shouldn't even be alive herself. Although she tried not to think about it like that, because she knew of the people she would have left behind if she had died along with their child.

Once outside, they switched from locking arms to holding hands. Claire realised that having West there felt good, having his hand in her own felt good. She now began to think she wouldn't be able to have done this without him. Well she may have been able to do it with Nathan by her side, but having West there was just that extra support she felt she really needed.

Claire began to feel emotional already just seeing the chairs laid out and the rose bush which had been planted earlier in the memory of their son. However Claire didn't actually take everything in properly until she was sitting down on one of the reserved chairs next to West still holding his hand. That's when she fully saw everything. The rose bush, the plaque in front of the rose bush and the antenatal scan of their unborn son, when she saw that, she immediately froze inside and squeezed West's hand tighter than she'd ever squeezed anything in her life.

Nathaniel Peter Rosen


The Plaque


The Rose Bush

It was so fitting Claire thought for their unborn child, and yet it was heartbreaking at the same time. Already Claire could feel the tears begin to fill her eyes. She was now glad she hadn't put make-up on, because she knew she was going to be crying so much it would have been a waste of time anyway.

The minute the Pastor began to talk about Nathaniel entering the gates of the glorious one Claire was already beginning to crumble and yet she wanted to be strong, because she wanted to speak at this. She wanted to tell people how she felt. She wanted to tell the truth. She didn't care if Nathan got angry with her, it was how she felt. She bit back the tears and took in a deep breath, however she squeezed West's hand again tightly.

God's plan? Yeah right thought Claire, but she held back saying anything, it wasn't in God's plan, it was the dirty deed of a crazed woman. She would end that bitch's life if it was the last thing she ever did. She had promised Nathan she'd stay away from her, but this today, it brought everything back and Claire knew she had to take her revenge somehow. She'd get Ryan and they would do it together. Together they would kill the bitch.

By this time the Pastor had called out Claire's name to talk, and because of the thoughts she had running through her head she felt like she was strong enough to say something now. She stood up, letting go of West's hand and made her way to the podium. As she got there she bent down to gently trace the edge of the plaque with her finger and to take in the scent of the rose bush.

She then gently traced the edge of the photograph frame with the antenatal scan in it with her finger, then bringing her finger to her mouth she kissed it before touching the face of the baby on the antenatal scan photo. "Sleep tight my precious little angel" she said in as steady a voice as she could get before finally taking to the podium and clearing her throat before continuing to speak.

"I'm not really sure what to say" she began, as she looked around everybody who was there, before looking back at the photograph and then back to the podium, as she took in another deep breath. "My precious angel, your life was cut far sooner than it should have been, but I've never stopped loving you, and I never will. You'll always be in my heart, you'll always be in all our hearts."

Claire couldn't say much more as the grief washed over her finally and combined with the anger she was feeling earlier and the blame, the next few sentences which were about to come out, were out of her control. She glanced at the Pastor and then looked up to the sky, "God's plan? That's what you thought it was? It wasn't God's plan to take my baby away from me, it was a crazy bitch, a crazy bitch who phased my precious angel out of me and callously threw him in a trash dumpster. So don't you tell me it's God's plan."

She then felt her knees go weak as she collapsed onto the ground, sobbing as she grabbed a hold of the plaque in the ground with her hand, "I'm so sorry my precious angel, this is all my fault, I shouldn't have goaded her, I should have tried harder to get away, you've been taken away from this world because of me and I hate myself." she screamed as she collapsed over the plaque and rose bush and continued to sob.

Then she looked up again, and stared at the Pastor, "And as God is my witness, I will make sure she pays, I swear I will make sure she pays for what she did, for what she put me through, for what she's putting me through now." Then Claire couldn't say anymore, everything had gotten to her and she just stayed in the crumbled heap over the plaque and rose bush saying nothing, almost as if she were comatose.

[west]

West sat with Claire, listening to the pastor talking, holding onto Claire to give her as much support as he could possibly give her. He felt like he needed to be strong for her, and that it was simply his duty, though he still had the continual feeling like he should have been able to do something, he should have been able to do something, anything to stop their baby dying.

Then when Claire stood up to talk, he had to let go of her hand, and he just hoped that she would be brave enough to not crumble when she was talking. She would be able to cry afterwards, as much as she wanted, West would be there, he always would, no matter what. He would always offer her support, as much as she needed, simply because he had to, because he felt that it was his new duty, and he would take it up immediately, and be there, everytime, without fail.

”Sleep tight my precious little angel" West felt a tear run down his face, and had to try to hold back more. He looked up at Claire, offering her as much support as he could. "My precious angel, your life was cut far sooner than it should have been, but I've never stopped loving you, and I never will. You'll always be in my heart, you'll always be in all our hearts." West felt more tears rolling down his face, there was nothing he could do. Claire must be much stronger than him, she was coping, without breaking down into tears, and she was still able to speak. West didn’t feel like he would even still be standing at this point, which meant that it was most likely good that he was sitting down..

Then it seemed to change.”God’s plan?” Claire started to rant, West could understand the anger, or at least he though that he could, but really he felt that it was likely that he would never be able to understand the anger that she was feeling, the rage, at being helpless to stop it, at only being alive herself because she could regenerate. He would never understand it. Part of him even wished that he had died, instead of the baby. At least that way Claire would still have a part of him to look after, a part of him to hold onto, inside the baby, and that might have allowed her to cope, to be stronger.

She broke down, sobbing, and West stood up quickly, rushing over to her side, doing whatever he could to comfort her. It was what she needed, to feel better, and be comforted, and West was going to do his best to do just that. What else could he have done anyway? Just sitting there wasn’t an option. “Come on.” He whispered into her ear, “He’s up there, watching us.”

Then Claire vowed her revenge on the person who had killed their child, and West felt an anger build up in him as well. He didn’t know what else he could do, apart from have this anger build up inside him, it was all that there was. The world was fast becoming most complicated, and West unable to think of anything else to do, or say, simply held Claire close to him, “Don’t think like that.” He said, tears beginning to flow down his eyes, “What would he think?” From the moment he said that, West did feel like there was a chance that it would backfire on him, maybe set Claire on the wrong direction, but he didn’t want he to spend the next year or so of her life intend on revenge, and finding that it was her only motivation.

[clairebear]

Claire couldn't believe she had failed to keep her composure at the podium, she had so wanted to say her piece and just sit back down again. But the words of the pastor had haunted her mind and with it running around it brought back what actually happened that day and Claire just felt herself getting ready to explode and that's exactly what happened. She exploded.

Even when West came toward her to help her up, she didn't want the help. She didn't want him around her at that moment. Earlier he had blamed himself and she'd told him it wasn't his fault, that it was nobody's fault but her own, but now for some reason she felt this inner anger build within her and she began to think very differently, that it was indeed West's fault, if he had been there instead of doing his usual disappearing act, he'd have been there to look after her.

She wanted to scream that at him, that it was his all his fault, but after collapsing onto the ground hugging the plaque, she had no energy, she just sat there, with her head in her hands and sobbing. She slowly looked up and saw Nathan who had arrived quietly and discreetly a few moments before Claire had began to talk. It hadn't bothered her he had arrived late, because she knew it was just a part of his job, but right at that moment, she didn't need West near her, it was her father.

So when West started whispering into her ear, she began to freeze, somewhere deep inside she knew she still had feelings for him, or at least she was certain of it, but right now, all she wanted was her father. She ignored his first words, but when he said 'what would he think' referring to their son, Claire blew up again. She pushed West away, "Just go, leave me alone, it's all your fault."

Claire then collapsed back onto the ground next to the plaque. That was when Nathan stood up slowly with a look of sadness etched upon his face and a deep frown, as he walked slowly over to Claire. He looked at West and gave him a disapproving look. "Sit back down West." He then bent down slowly, and took both of Claire's hands in his own and looking down at her he gave a weak smile, "Come on honey, your superman's here now."

Claire looked up at him with sad, swollen eyes, and gulped back slowly, before struggling to stand up, where Nathan pulled her to her feet gently and wrapped his arms around her waist and head and pulled her into a hug with his chin resting on her head. He held her in that position for a few moments before gently pulling apart and holding her at arms length. "Come on honey, stand with me and I'll finish this off."

Nathan took to the podium, with Claire by his side, with one arm wrapped tightly around her shoulder. He cleared his throat, before beginning to talk.

"Thank you to everyone who has come to show your respects to our unborn family member. I appreciate it as does Claire. I was very saddened and angered to hear the news of what happened to my daughter as I am sure you all were, but unfortunately what's done is done, and we sadly must all move on from this traumatic time. I can assure you that everything is being done to bring this killer to justice."

Nathan then looked toward the rose bush and plaque, bowing his head slightly, he continued to talk "Your life may not have begun, but to your family you will always be a part of our lives, may you rest in peace Nathaniel Peter Rosen."

Nathan, then took Claire's hand and gently began leading her back to the seats and sat down next to her. He looked over at West and gave him a slight apologetic look for earlier and then leaned over and said in a low voice, "Give her a few days, I'm sure she will want to see you again."

Nathan was going to take Claire back to her bedroom just as soon as the Pastor said the last few words to lay Nathaniel Peter Rosen to rest. Claire then looked up at Nathan with sad hollow empty eyes, "I'm sorry dad, I'm so sorry for losing it." Nathan just wrapped his arm tightly around Claire's shoulder and pulled her toward him, and kissed her forehead before saying, "Nothing to be sorry for honey, nothing."

[ooc: Nathan god modded by me with the approval of Romz]

[west]

West hadn’t noticed that Nathan had managed to arrive, he had been far to busy trying to comfort Claire, in any way that he could. But then she had pushed him away, exploding slightly. "Just go, leave me alone, it's all your fault." West fell back, frozen on the spot. It had been his fault, he should I have been there. “I should have been there.” He murmured over and over again, into silence, apart from Claire’s sobbing, all he could do now was repeat the same phrase over and over in his head, it was the only thing that was in there anymore. I should have been there. It was all he could think of, and he barely even noticed that Nathan had walked over to her, and was comforting her now, seeming to also be able to do a better job than he had managed to.

He was told that he should sit back down, and still without a sound obeyed, with a robot like obedience, most likely from the shock of Claire’s outbreak. He wanted to just fly away, completely on his own, just go somewhere; anywhere, give Claire space, as much as she needed, as much was required, until she recovered, but he wasn’t going to allow himself to. He needed to be there for her, and whether or not she realised it, it was most likely the case that she would need him to be there, for support.

He was still silent, and perfectly still when Nathan, leading Claire up with him, stood up to speak. West listened, tears beginning to stream down his face. “It was my fault, I should have been there.” He muttered when Nathan spoke, barely listening to the words, slowly being consumed by his own, self created guilt.

When they had finished, Nathan spoke to him again, when they both sat down. "Give her a few days, I'm sure she will want to see you again." West gave a small nod, to show that he had understood the words, before looking at Claire again, seeing how sad she was. He didn’t know what he should do anymore, whether he should go, or stay, be there, or be somewhere else.

[clairebear]

Claire just continued to lean her head on her father's shoulder as he kept his arm around her tightly. He had told her she had nothing to be sorry for when she had apologised to him for losing it. As they waited for the Pastor to finish the ceremony, Claire couldn't help but look at West. She suddenly felt terrible for yelling at him and saying it was his fault. Earlier he had said it was and she had told him it was nobody's fault. Truth was, nobody was to blame other than the woman who had done the terrible thing in the first place.

She had heard Nathan tell West to give her a few days, but she didn't need a few days. She needed people around her who loved her and cared about her, and despite everything she knew West did care about her, and she knew he still loved her. Somewhere inside, she felt her old feelings for him surfacing again and she knew she still loved him too. She wasn't sure if she could ever truly forgive him for doing his two disappearance acts, but she knew she still loved him. Whether that was enough to continue to make their relationship work however, was another matter altogether.

The Pastor took to the podium again. He cleared his throat. He looked in the direction of Claire, West and Nathan and in a sombre voice he spoke. "I am truly sorry for your loss, and I can only pray that God will allow you all to live through this sad time and move on peacefully when you are all ready." He then stood in front of the rose bush, plaque and photograph and crossed himself, "May God bless this soul, and may you rest in peace Nathaniel Peter Rosen."

He then returned to the podium again. "We shall now close with a prayer." He then closed his eyes.

"God our Father,
Your power brings us to birth,
Your providence guides our lives,
and by Your command we return Nathaniel Peter to dust.

Lord, those who die still live in Your presence,
Their lives change but do not end.
I pray in hope for Nathaniel's family,
Relatives and friends,
and for all the dead known to You alone.

In company with Christ,
Who died and now lives,
May they rejoice in Your kingdom,
Where all our tears are wiped away.
Unite us together again in one family,
To sing Your praise forever and ever.

Amen."

Claire then opened her eyes, and felt a lot more calmer than she did before, and as the Pastor gathered his belongs and came toward them, he shook her hand first, before shaking Nathan's and then shaking West's and then he left the ground, leaving Claire, Nathan and West alone with the people who had gathered for the memorial service.

"Come on honey, I'm taking you up to your bed." Nathan said as he stood and held his hand out twiddling his fingers waiting for her to take it. However Claire looked up at him with sad eyes, and then glanced toward West and gave him a weak smile. "If it's alright dad, I'd rather stay out here a bit longer, I think, I think West and I need to talk some."

Nathan looked down at his beautiful daughter, and nodded his head slowly, "Alright sweetheart, I've taken the rest of the day off, so you know where I am if you need me." With that he pulled Claire to her feet and wrapped his arms around her waist and head and hugged her, before kissing her on the forehead and walking to leave her alone with West.

Claire then turned to West and looked at him, holding her arms open for him. Hoping he would come to her and hug her. "I'm sorry West, I didn't mean to blame you, it's not your fault, it's nobody's fault but her's." Claire said referring to the woman who had killed their child. It was her fault, it wasn't Claire's, nor was it Nathan's and it wasn't West's either.

[west]

West sat, quietly contemplating everything. Was it really all his fault, he certainly felt it was? He should have been there. He just should have. Nothing else would have matter, if he had made it there in time, none of this would have happened, and both him and Claire wouldn’t be wrecked, and that way they would be happier, expecting a child. He should have been there.

The pastor finished off the ceremony. Now what? West asked himself mentally. Where should he go, should he just fly off, give Claire her space for as long as she needed. Or should he stay, and try to make everything better. He felt like there was always a chance that what she had said would have been entirely out of rage, which would mean he should stay.

As the ceremony ended, West looked across at Claire, to first see just how she was coping, and secondly to see what she was doing. If she walked off now, he would simply fly off, vanish for a couple of days, he could go and see his parents again. But if she was going to come over, he would be able to know that she hadn’t really meant what she had said, and hopefully everything would be alright, or alright under the circumstances that fate had thrown at them.

He saw Nathan talking to her, and then moving off, leaving the two of them. West looked at Claire, catching her eyes. He moved forwards, hugging her when she opened her arms. “I understand.” He replied to her, “You where angry, you didn’t mean to say all of those things, they just came out.” He did understand that most likely everything which Claire had said had been out of grief, and anger, and she really hadn’t meant any of it, or he would have hoped that she hadn’t. They just needed a little while on their own most likely, to try to come to terms with everything, everything that had happened, and everything which was going to happen. They just needed time, that would be enough, after all, wasn’t time meant to heal wounds or something.

[clairebear]

Claire felt total relief wash over her when West came into her open arms and immediately said he understood. It made Claire feel better and the moment of feeling like a complete bitch was gone. Of course Claire wasn't completely over her grief, but at least at this moment she no longer felt angry, nor did she feel like she had to blame West. She knew it wasn't his fault, she had said so from the very beginning when she first saw him when he had arrived today.

"I'm so glad you understand West, you're right, it was just anger, I'd never blame you, I wasn't blaming you, even when you first arrived I said I wasn't blaming you." Claire said softly, as she continued to hug him. She laid her head on his shoulder, and tried to think what life could be like with West in her life again. They've been through so much together, she was no longer in true check of her feelings.

Did she love him as in still love him as his wife, or did she just love him as a good friend? She wasn't sure, but she also didn't think today was the best day to be making any sort of decision on how she feels, her emotions were all over the place, and she didn't want to make the wrong decision.

She gently pulled away from the hug, and took West's hand and began to walk, she needed to get back to her room and rest for a while, the emotion of the service had really exhausted her. "West, I want you to understand, I'm not sure what I want right now, I'm so confused. Part of me is certain I'm still in love with you and still want to be your wife, but another part of me is saying I've put myself through to much with you already. I don't really think this is the day for me to make any decisions concerning my feelings given my current emotional state. I hope you understand what I'm saying?" Claire explained gently as she continued to walk in the gardens leading toward the front main entrance of the White House.

[west]

West continued to embrace Claire, letting her rest on his shoulder. She was saying that she was wrong to blame him, and that she didn’t, but inside he was still hurt, inside he still believed that it was his fault, that he should have been there. He still felt that way, and that was simply how it was going to be. “I know.” He said, even though he felt he might be lying, simply because he, himself believed it was all his fault, and that he was the one really responsible for everything.

Then Claire pulled away from the hug, and spoke again. And as she spoke, it was like a knife was being shoved through his heart, through him. He couldn’t really believe it, didn’t know what he should think. Was she saying that she didn’t love him anymore? Why? How could she say that, how? He stopped walking, and stood there, silent, still. Somewhere, inside of him something was yelling out, ’just fly off, leave here now’ And he felt like he probably should, give Claire some space, to make sure she was sure of what she had said, and to give himself some time to recover, to get to a happy medium he was comfortable with.

[clairebear]

Claire heard West say he knew that it wasn't his fault, but somehow, deep down, she knew he didn't believe that. It was fairly obvious in his voice he didn't truly believe it. There really wasn't anything else Claire could do to convince him otherwise, so she just sighed gently and decided to drop the subject. West would believe what he wanted to believe, but Claire knew the truth, nobody was to blame for their unborn son other than the crazy ass bitch who had phased their baby out of her.

After Claire had explained to West about her feelings, she waited for a response from him, but she didn't get anything. Had she really sounded bad with what she had said? She didn't think so, but his quietness was killing her. She turned to face him with a sad expression on her face. "I didn't mean for it to sound the way it did." She began to explain, but truth was, Claire didn't know how she wanted it to sound. She really couldn't be sure how she felt about him anymore. Maybe they did need a little time apart. Or maybe it was just all the emotions of today finally getting to her.

"Maybe it's just today, maybe it's messing with my head West, I don't know." She was stumbling over her words, because she really didn't know what she was trying to say. Now she just wanted to get away from there, get up to her room and throw herself into a world of her own. That would be best. "I'm sorry West, thanks for coming." She said as she leaned in and kissed him gently on the lips and then began to walk away as tears fell down her cheeks. "I'm sorry." She said again as she began to run to the main entrance of the White House, if West wanted to say something more, he could come after her.