Why Me, Why Now {Zach}

[katie]

15th June, 2009

It had been a few weeks now since Katie had told William and Jason the truth about what happened to her. They had taken the news surprisingly well, and she felt like she was back on the right foot with both her older brothers. When Jason had left that day, he told them he was collecting Zach from the airport the following day and Katie couldn't believe her younger brother was coming back to the States, just when she needed him most.

Of course she had told him the truth about what happened, and just like her older brothers, he was angry and wanted to see justice served. Katie hadn't heard anything or read anything about that guy since it happened, so she figured that he had been keeping a low profile. However, Katie was glad in a way, she didn't need the stress. The baby might have come from an assault, but Katie knew it wasn't the child's fault, and the more she got used to that idea, the more she grew to love the idea of having a child.

Now she was eight weeks pregnant and it was the day of her first scan, she was still very nervous about it, because she knew seeing the baby, or what ever it looked like at that stage wasn't just a part of her, it was a part of him too. She figured the scan might not be a good thing for her to do alone. She was going to ask William to accompany her, but he'd been a little pre-occupied with his new girlfriend and Katie felt as if she had taken up enough of his precious time anyway, so she asked Zach if he would go with her instead.

Zach was living with their parents and of course Katie was still living with William in their apartment. She wasn't sure she'd ever live anywhere else, unless a special guy came into her life and she somehow didn't think it would happen. What guy wanted a pregnant girlfriend? Now she was sitting on the sofa waiting on Zach to arrive, she hadn't seen him for a few days, since she'd told him about what had happened, and she was looking forward to seeing him again.

[zach]

Zach had been in the states for a few weeks and was surprised to hear what happened during his time England. His brother (adopted) was the Vice President and his third brother, Katie’s brother was killed and it was just devastated to even think of that. He felt guilty for not even coming back to the States for the funeral.

Oh well, it was just a bad time for him. Not his fault that his schooling was ridiculous at times. He was just glad to be spending his time with his family and enjoying this summer break before he went off back to school in England. Though he was looking at the possibility of doing his studies here, but he just wasn’t sure yet. He wasn’t used to the American education system.

He reacted just like his older brothers when the truth came out. He felt sorry for his sister. She didn’t want to do any of that and he just felt sorry her. Especially after knowing that she was raped, okay sexual assaulted. It was just wrong and he wanted to be there for her. Even if he was working part time he was going to make time for her.

Zach flew to William’s apartment where Katie was residing. He figured that it would best if he flew. It something he liked to do especially when he was running late and he hated to be late especially with his sister, but his mother was telling him to clean up a bunch of shit and the time went by very fast. He landed on the roof entering the apartment building from the roof entrance and made his way towards the apartment number knocking on the door.

[katie]

As Katie waited for Zach to arrive she began flicking through a magazine. She had been attending hypnosis to help with the nightmares she had been having, and although they weren't completely gone, she was sleeping much better. She had stayed in William's room and bed for about two weeks, and finally a couple of days ago she started to sleep in her own bed. But every time she took a nightmare she would go straight through and tap William on the shoulder, and he'd just open his arms and allowed her to climb in and hug into him.

Just then she heard a knock at the door, and she immediately put the magazine down and made her way to the door, knowing full well it would be Zach. She grabbed her jacket, they only had about twenty minutes to get to the clinic for her appointment. So, she put her jacket on and opened the door, stepping outside as she did so, and closed and locked it behind her, because William was already out for the day.

She gave Zach a hug, "Thanks for doing this for me, coming with me, it means a lot." She said softly, giving him a bright smile, although inside she was secretly fearing it. Seeing the baby for the first time, seeing a part of 'him' inside her. But she had to keep telling herself, that it was more a part of herself, than a part of him. She would be the one carrying the baby, she'd be the one feeding it, helping it to grow. So, it was definitely more a part of her than him, but it didn't stop her from worrying about how she would react when she sees it for the first time.

Rather than keeping her thoughts to herself, and scaring Zach in the room, she thought she better tell him before they arrive how she was feeling about it. "I'm worried Zach, I'm worried that when I see the baby, all the fears will come back and I'll see his face." She explained, as she gave him a sad smile, and bit down on her bottom lip. Alright, so Zach was younger than her, the youngest of all the family, but he was old enough to get what she was feeling, and he was old enough to listen and hopefully help her.

[zach]

Zach didn't mean to be almost late. He hated to do chores. Sure he was an adult and all but he was living at his parents during the summer and he needed to pitch in. It was the only thing he could do when he wasn't half way around the world for school. So he was just grateful that his parents let him support his sister when needed. Sure he was the youngest in the family and he was going to help his sister out in anyway way he could.

This was the first step. Sure it seemed kind of odd for him to be going to see a scan of the baby. But he didn't mind, not at all. It was just a simple task and that task was to help his sister out and he was going to do it. He wasn't that busy anyway he had to go to work after the appointment anyway, but he was going to be their for moral support of his sister. That was what siblings are for and he was doing just that.

The next thing he knew after knocking on the door. His sister came out and locked the door and the two were on their way to this appointment. He nodded at his sister as she hugged him. He hugged her back. "No problem" he said with a smile.

Zach walked with her. It was silent for a moment and then she began to speak. He just listened carefully to what she was saying. He couldn't believe what she was saying. "I'm not sure what to say here," he began with a unassuring voice, "But I will say this just think about the positive outcome and not the face of that idiot" He said in a confident voice, no sure if it made sense. He was after all a year younger than her and didn't understand the facts of life like some people in their family.

[katie]

After Katie hugged Zach he hugged her back which felt good and she smiled brightly when he said 'no problem', after all it couldn't be the easiest of things for him to agree to do. If circumstances were normal it would be the father of the baby attending this with her, but it wasn't and she was damn glad it wasn't. Now all she had to hope was that his face wouldn't come on the screen when she was going to look at her baby for the first time.

It's more me than him, she kept telling herself, over and over. It's more me than him, she felt if she said it often enough she might start to believe herself. It was sad that she could feel this way, but she did. She had hoped to have been over the worst of it by now what with the hypnosis, but no. The thought and idea of seeing his face was still very strong.

As she waited for Zach to speak after she told him she was worried she would see his face, when he did speak, she felt bad for saying it to him. It was obviously a difficult thing for him to answer. However, he said what he felt was right, and she gave him a weak smile.

What positive outcome was there? Single mother. But she couldn't say that to Zach, as he was doing his best to make her feel better, besides she'd have William there to support her, he had said so. "Yeah, guess you're right, I keep telling myself the baby is more me than him. I mean it's growing inside me, and will be for nine months, it's got more bond to me. It's helping me, I think." She explained, so maybe if she just kept thinking that during the scan, then she would see her tiny baby and not his face.

[zach]

Zach was just glad to get out of his parent’s house. They driving him insane and he was glad to spend it with his sister. Sure the circumstances were odd, but he didn’t mind. He was looking forward to being a uncle. He was really excited to be an uncle probably more excited than the rest of family, but that was just him.

He was the baby of the family and was just glad…that perhaps being the baby that he wouldn’t be deemed that anymore. He hated to be deemed that. Sure he barely knew his family seeing how he was sent to England to live with his mother’s family. Not sure why that would happen. He was just glad to spend some time with them.

Sadly this was the only time he could spend with his only sister. He was close with her as if he was close with the two twins. He was never close with his brothers. They were older than he and he was always on the other side of the world. Yes life was awkward for Mr. Zachary Ronald Moore. He was the oddball of the family.

Zach was trying to be positive and he was unsure if he was getting that point across. He hated to be on the spot when questions or statements were made towards him. Sure he was an intelligent guy, but he was the youngest of the family and was familiar with how real world life was but this situation at hand. He didn’t have any experience and either did Katie. Oh well, life was a learning curve and this was a step in a direction…

“That’s right, sis just keep a positive attitude” Zach said with encouraging words.

[katie]

Katie was glad Zach was back in the States, where he should be as far as she was concerned. She missed him when he was in England, it wasn't fair for their parents to send him away there to study. Why do that when the others were allowed to stay in the States? It didn't make sense to her at all. Especially now that Josh was no longer in the world with them, she needed Zach more than before.

Although Katie was very close to William, she had just been as close to Zach and Josh, it was only Jason she never seemed to be very close to, even though she loved him the same as her other brothers. She could never understand why either, but now she knew he was adopted she wondered if that had something to do with it. Like it was an internal instinct thing or something. Still, she loved all her brothers and she was still very ashamed at what she had put them through recently.

She was glad to get back on her feet so to speak. When Zach told her to just keep having a positive attitude she gave him a brighter smile, and nudged into him for a hug. "Alright, I promise to have a more positive attitude."

They weren't too far away from the clinic now, and Katie knew they'd be there in the next few minutes. "Oh, it's so good to have you home again." She added, just in case she hadn't said it enough times already. "It be so cool if you could stay." She meant that as well, maybe she'd have to have a quiet word with their parents to ask them to allow him to stay in the States. Or maybe he just needed to find a girlfriend.

Just then they reached the clinic, "Oh, well, here goes." She opened the door, and walked inside and went right to the reception desk. "Katie Moore." She smiled at the receptionist. "Just take a seat, the doctor will be with you shortly." Katie smiled, "Thanks." And then she went and sat down on one of the waiting room seats.

[zach]

Zach was liking the educational system in England. He didn’t have to worry about certain things. However since the death of his older brother: Josh. He wanted to be close to his sister. He was the only one closet to age to her unlike the other boys in the family who were like 9 years older than them.

Weird thing was Zach was close with all his siblings. He was probably the only one who understood Jason. It would seem that he was the only closet one to him. It seemed odd but someone needed to be close to the older sibling even if he was adopted. He sighed not sure what else to think. It was difficult to think straight. Reality was such a bitch at times.

Zach kept on suggesting to his sister to keep a positive attitude. It was the only thing to do in certain situations and it helped out a whole bunch and he hoped this advice that he gave his sister would work it would be a shame if it didn’t happen. Well, if she didn’t think positive about things. “Glad you see it that way, sis” he said with a bright smile as he hugged her back.

The red headed boy began to wonder when they were going to arrive at the clinic. He didn’t want his sister to be late because of him and he wondered if he should have flown them. Oh well, perhaps he would do that after this appointment. It was the least he could do. He smiled again at his sister, “I’m glad to be home” he said with a slight pause, “And I want to stay also it’s kind of odd going to school with a bunch of Brits” he said shaking his head.

Zach followed his sister into the clinic. He was right with her as she went to the desk to tell the receptionist her name. The women then instructed them to sit down and the doctor would be with them shortly. He then followed Katie to find a chair. He sat on the opposite end of her. “Next time we should bring Jason, we probably wouldn’t have a long wait” he said in a joking matter.

[katie]

When Katie had told Zach she would try to keep a more positive attitude, he had hugged her back and said he was glad she was seeing it his way. She just gave him a smile. Well she had to start thinking more positive, thinking the way she had been doing recently, wasn't doing her any good, and she knew it wouldn't be doing the baby any good either. Although sometimes she had wondered if she really cared about it, because it was a part of 'him' as well. But when she began to think more rationally she had to shake the thoughts from her head, remembering it wasn't the baby's fault it had been conceived.

Katie gave him a smile when he said he was glad to be home and then he said he wanted to stay here also. She laughed at what he said, "I keep wondering if you're going to come home with a British accent you know."

Once they were inside the clinic and the receptionist told them to take a seat, Zach made a joke about having Jason with them next time, they may get seen sooner. "You're probably right." She laughed again, at least she was feeling a little more light hearted about the situation with being in Zach's company. In a way having him here was like having Josh back in her life again.

Just then a doctor came out, "Katie Moore please." Katie turned to Zach, "Not that long actually." She stood up, and wondered if the doctor would be alright with Zach coming in with her. "He's my brother, can he come in please?" The doctor looked at her, and smiled warmly. "Of course he can." Katie then thanked the doctor and looked at Zach with a smile, as she began to follow the doctor to the room.

When the doctor opened the door and ushered them both in, Katie saw the bed and the scan machine beside, and suddenly she began to shake, she was about to see the baby growing inside of her, and now she was terrified she was going to see his face.

[zach]

"Oi I can do a bloody accent" he said in a fake British one with a slight smirk. For an American being in England. The native people said that he did pretty good with an accent. It fooled a lot of people but that was just part of life and he was kind of glad that he could fool people with his so-called accent.

Zach just joked about having Jason come with them. It would be a lot faster. However the doctor came out and called Katie's name. "That was fast" He said with a slight smirk. Which was good the sooner they were the seen the soonenr they could leave and do whatever they were going to do.

{Argh sorry, lol just woke up}

He got up from his chair when the doctor informed him that he could come in with Katie. He then followed Katie and the doctor through the doors and into a room. He saw a bed and a scan machine. He then glanced over at his sister who was shaking. "Think positive," he whispered in her ear.

[katie]

{ooc - its alright - I've been having a museless few days myself. Only seem to have major muse for Brendan and Drew}

Katie could only laugh when she heard Zach speak in a fake British accent. It sounded so funny. If there was one thing Zach was good at and for, it was making Katie laugh. "Well, guess I have to give you ten out of ten for that effort." She then nudged into him playfully and laughed again.

Once they were inside the clinic and Katie's name was called, Zach stated that it was fast. It had surprised Katie as well, but she was glad that she didn't have a long time to wait either, because the longer she had to wait, the more nervous and worked up she would have got about seeing 'his' face during the scan.

When Katie had began to shake, Zach whispered into her ear to think positive, she gave him a weak smile, it was all she could really do. Still saying to herself over, and over that it was more her than him. She wasn't sure if it was going to be enough for her though.

"If you would like to lie on the bed and roll up your top for me please Katie." The doctor said giving Katie a warm smile, Katie smiled back at the doctor, she seemed to be nice, and Katie was beginning to feel a little more comfortable about the situation. The doctor then reached for some gel, "This will feel a little cold." She warned and then she spread it over Katie's stomach, and she breathed in sharply, feeling her stomach dip, as it was rather cold right enough.

The next thing the doctor then lifted a paddle and began to move it over Katie's stomach, pressing down slightly, Katie could hear the faint noise, but wasn't sure what it was. She wouldn't even look at the screen, she just kept looking in the opposite direction. "Can you hear the noise?" The doctor asked Katie, "Yeah, what is that?" The doctor then smiled, "That's your baby's heartbeat, and it's very strong, that means your baby is obviously growing well and is strong." Katie still couldn't look at the screen, yeah it's strong because 'he' was such a strong bastard.

"Why don't you have a look at your baby Katie?" She heard the doctor ask, Katie looked at Zach first, and then slowly turned her head, with her eyes closed, but she slowly began to open them, and then she saw the smallest little start of a baby growing. "Oh my god, that's my baby?" She knew she was asking the silliest question, but it was one she couldn't help but ask.

She then turned to Zach, "Look at it, look at it, and I didn't see 'his' face." Katie was now beaming, and feeling a lot better about the pregnancy. She was having a baby, and it was her baby. "Can you tell the sex?" Katie asked in an excited voice, she wanted the baby to be a boy, she wanted to name him after her twin. "I'm sorry Katie, it's a little too early to tell that yet, if you want to know the sex of the baby, you will be able to find out when you come for your twelve week scan. You don't have that long to wait."

Katie smiled at the doctor and nodded her head. "Well, everything looks fine Katie, everything is healthy, so I'll see you in four weeks?" Then she handed Katie an envelope. "What's this?" Katie asked, with a worried expression on her face. The doctor smiled at Katie, shaking her head.

"Nothing to worry about, it's just the photos and DVD of the baby scan." Katie grinned then, as she opened the envelope and then immediately showed one of the photos to Zach. "Look at it, it's so tiny." With that she walked out of the doctors, feeling much happier about things, than when she had went in at first.

[zach]

Zach was glad that Katie was laughing at his fake British accent. He wanted her to have a bright side to this experience. People who were down just needed to be able to just laugh and he was glad that he was good enough to have people laugh. It was just part of his unique personality and he was always the one to do such things even at school. “Why thank you” he said as he playfully nudged her back also.

It was fast that they had called them well just Katie. He thought that they would have to wait a while and he really thought that it would be a long time and to his surprise it wasn’t a long time and that was good it was good enough for him. He hated to wait longer than thirty minutes. But that was just him. He could be impatient at times. It was just him.

He just couldn’t think that his sister would be shaking. She was going to be a mother and this was her first scan and he wanted her to have a positive attutiude. She just had to be calm and everything would work out. He just hoped that she didn’t have to see the face of that idiot. It wasn’t the child’s fault. It was the father’s fault.

Zach watched as Katie was instructed to lie on the bed and roll up her top. Zach smiled and just stayed out of the way. It was the least he could. He was just here for support and he was going to let the medical professionals do their job. He was just in the room to make sure his sister didn’t have a panic attack.

A few moments later Zach looked at Katie as she panicked a bit. It was only because she heard a noise. It was the baby’s heart beat. He just wanted to see his sister’s reaction and didn’t say anything as he gave a weak smile knowing that his sister wasn’t looking at her baby. He just frowned and just didn’t say anything. He had hoped that she wasn’t thinking of the idiot’s face that raped her.

The doctor looked at Zach and he just blinked not wanting to say anything. He was just going to be good. He wasn’t going to speak about ‘him’ he sighed a bit as he looked at his sister’s expression and smiled when she finally looked at the scan. She asked the silliest question. He just chuckled knowing that this was probably going to be a big improvement from a few moments ago about being panicked about thinking of the baby and that bastard’s face.

“That is good” he said in an excited tone. Zach had finally broken his silence. He was just glad that his sister was now looking as if she was having a good thing about this pregnancy and that it was positive. Positive was the best outlook. He just smiled as his sister asked the doctor a question. He had no clue if you could tell the sex just yet. He waited for the response and he didn’t say a word as he nodded as the doctor answer her question.

He placed his hands in his pocket as his sister and the doctor talked some more. The appointment seemed over and he was glad that she wasn’t afraid of it. The baby. Well, she looked like to him that he wasn’t going to be afraid of the baby anymore. He then was handed a photo of the baby. “Your right, sis it is so tiny” he said with a smile. “We should send to Jason” he said as they walked out of the doctor’s office.

[katie]

Katie had been so worried about coming for this scan in case she saw 'his' face, so she was really happy when she did finally look at the screen, she only saw the start of her growing baby. Much, much better than she had anticipated. She could only grin when Zach said it was good that she hadn't seen 'his' face. She knew now that she had been silly to have worried about it in the first place, but she still couldn't help but wonder, would it have been a different story if she'd come to the scan on her own.

Once Katie had been given the envelope with the scan DVD and photos and she had opened it to see the photos, she couldn't believe how tiny the baby looked in the scan photos. She of course had given one to Zach to look at. He had agreed the baby did indeed look tiny. "And you're its uncle." She laughed a little after saying that. Uncle Zach, sounded quite cute really, then there'd be Uncle Jason and Uncle William. Pity there'd be no aunties, seeing as Katie had no sisters, unless you counted her brothers girlfriends of course. Then there'd be Auntie Tracy and Auntie Debbie of what she knew.

"Yeah, I'll definitely send one to Jason, I'm sure he'd love to see one as well." Then she would have to show William as well. She knew he'd be happy, seeing as he had been there almost from day one, or at least, when she had plucked up the courage to speak to him about it at any rate. "Well, I'm actually feeling kind of tired, pregnancy can do that, apparently, guess I've been lucky not to have the morning sickness. So, think it's home time for me." She would have suggested going somewhere for coffee but she was scared if she stayed out any longer she might pass out on Zach and she didn't want for that to happen.