The Fire In My Heart [Emma]

[Jackson Poe]

18th April 2009

Jackson sat quietly in the room backstage where he had just played his last set. The previous 2 hours had been great, with so much energy from the medium sized crowd. Jackson played off this energy, getting into the songs, and playing his guitar so enthusiastically. Now he was glad to have some quiet time to himself for a few minutes.

He liked to reflect on what went right and what went wrong. Even though this new path of this career has only been going for 2 weeks, but Jackson had been working up to this point in his life for about 10 years. He knew he was a perfectionist, and wanted all things to go right. Well, everything had been going right for him for the last month.

Jackson had to smile at that, looking at his guitar. The same day that he was waiting for at elusive phone call, he met the girl of his dreams. Since that chance meeting, Jackson had fallen head over heels for Emma Woods. At this very moment she was waiting for him in the crowd, which would be thinning out right now. With that, Jackson quickly put his guitar in its case, and grabbed his denium jacket. Looking around to make sure he had everything, he walked out the door, grabbing his bag on the way out.

He walked around the side of the stage, and instantly spotted Emma. She was hanging out at the bar, which was practically empty, except for the bartender, and a couple of waitresses. Jackson quietly made his way behind her, placing his bag, jacket and guitar case on the ground. With both hands, he placed them over Emma's eyes. "Guess who?" He smiled at the bartender, and looked at Emma.

[emma]

Emma and Jackson had been seeing each other for about a month now. Ever since that first night when they had that instant connection Emma grew more and more attached to Jackson. They had spent as much time together as their busy schedules allowed, and tonight, Emma was here to watch Jackson play. He was of course fantastic like she knew he would be.

She was now just waiting by the bar talking to the bartender about how good Jackson's music was waiting for him to appear. Suddenly hands covered her eyes, and that familiar voice she loved so much said 'guess who'. Emma began to laugh gently, "Ah that would be the one and only Jackson Poe" she said with a smile as she turned and took his face in her hands, and gave him a quick kiss.

"That was wonderful, as always" she said talking about his music of course. She loved coming to listen to Jackson play when she could. It disappointed her when she couldn't make it because of either practice or a competition. "So, what would you like to do?" Emma asked as she continued to stare into his eyes. She could lose herself in those eyes. He was definitely one of the most handsome guys she had ever met.

Every moment she shared with Jackson was amazing. Every moment she shared with Jackson was precious.

[Jackson Poe]

Jackson had to laugh when Emma said he was the one and only Jackson Poe. It made him seem like he was already the big star he hoped to be one day. "Well yes it is little lady." The quick kiss gave him tingles, which added to the buzz he was still getting from the show he just put on. The quiet time before turned it down slightly, but now just being with Emma, it turned the dial inside back up to a 10 again.

"Thanks, sweetie," was all Jackson could muster up to say to Emma when she commented about his music tonight. He then lent in and gave her a quick kiss, but lingered his body close to hers afterwards. When Emma asked him what he wanted to do now, Jackson knew that he should catch some sleep, as it was rolling onto midnight. But seeing this buzz was still haning around him, he didn't think he could sleep just yet. "Umm....not sure. I know that I can't sleep right now. I am still so hyped up after the show. Whatever you want to do is fine with me." Jackson lent in and rubbed his nose slightly with her own.

Jackson didn't know whether to suggest someone quiet for them to talk, or just hang here at the club until it closes. He didn't care as long as he was with Emma. Right now felt so right, what with him being so close to her. He missed seeing her when she wasn't at one of his gigs, but they both knew that if something was important, and the other couldn't go, they had to understand that there were sacrifices to make in the relationship.

He put his arm around Emma's waist, and gestured for her to lay her head on his shoulder. Jackson just felt so comfortable right there with her just resting on him. He knew he should probably sit down, but didn't really feel like moving right this minute.

[emma]

Emma giggled slightly, "I'd know that scent anywhere" she said, of course she was referring to Jackson's personal scent, not just his cologne, because of her enhanced senses, she could sense a humans personal scent and Jackson's always stood out heaps more than anybody else she knew.

Emma smiled when Jackson thanked her and kissed her back. They were just small kisses, what with being in a public place in front of the bartender, but they meant so much. There was much feeling behind each kiss. She felt his body linger against hers, and it made her feel so comfortable. She just loved spending as much time with him as she possibly could. Jackson said he wasn't sure what he wanted to do and that it was up to her, he then gently rubbed her nose with his own. Emma didn't mind too much what they did either, so long as they spent time together.

They could stay where they were until it closed, or they could go back to his place, where it would be more personal, and more quiet, and they could get more alone time together. "Well you know me, I don't really mind, so long as we're together, but going to your place seems to be appealing to me, just you and me, no interruptions?" she said with a grin and a twinkle in her eye.

Not just time to talk, but time to be intimate with each other, without wondering who was watching them from the sidelines. As Jackson put his arm around her waist, she laid her head on his shoulder, even if he had gestured the move, it would have been something she'd have done automatically anyway.

Emma felt she was in love with Jackson already, they certainly had a strong immediate connection, but she hadn't said it to him, and she wasn't sure she ever would, until he said it to her first, because she didn't to lose him or scare him. And let's face it, to admit you'd fallen in love so soon into a relationship would probably scare the best of us.

[Jackson Poe]

Jackson listened to what Emma suggested. He had to admin that it did sound good to be able to have some actual alone time. It had been some time since they had that, what with all of his time being devoted to arranging all those shows in order to promote his music. Each time he was away from her, his mind would always wander from the actual work, and go to thoughts of Emma instead.

He looked at her. "Mmm, perfect choice. Let me take this lot to the car, and I will be back." Jackson kissed her tenderly, and headed out the side door of the building, and walked towards his car. He not long opened the boot to the car, when his phone rang. Flipping it open, Jackson answered it, "Hello?"

On the other end of the phone, a female voice came over, "Hello? Jackson Poe?" Jackson got shivers down his spine. The sound of this person's voice almost made him fall to the ground. "Wh..what do you want?" He didn't want to hear if his suspicions were right. Before he again could ask, the other end of the phone hung up. Jackson looked down at the open phone, with the screen dimly lit.

He felt like he couldn't move from the spot, but soon realised that he had better get back to Emma, just in case she was wondering where he was. Jackson instantly put his guitar and bag in the boot, and closed it shut. He slowly and quietly walked back inside, and went straight towards Emma. He smiled at her, trying to put on a brave face, not wanting her to know that he was worried about something. Taking her hand, he asked her, "Are you ready?"

[emma]

Emma just smiled when Jackson said that her idea was a good one, telling her was just going to pack his things away, before kissing her tenderly. Emma flicked some hair behind her ear, "Alright, don't be long" she said, grinning as she kissed him back. Jackson then left, taking his things out to the car. Of course Emma's super hearing, should have picked up on Jackson's phone call outside, but unless the person is quite close, Emma has to actually concentrate on hearing voices at a distance, and since she was excited about spending time with Jackson and in the pub where there was still some talking and music playing, Emma couldn't was oblivious to the telephone call.

The bartender began to talk to Emma. "So, how did you enjoy the music tonight? Isn't he getting really good?" he asked Emma. She smiled at him, "Yeah, he's just amazing" Emma said, referring to not just his music, but everything about him, and she felt her cheeks blush slightly.

It was at that point Jackson came back into the building again. He came up to her and took her hand, and asked if she was ready to go. She squeezed his hand gently, and smiled, "Yeah I'm ready" she replied, as she looked at him, and thought there was something different about him, she could sense it. The soon as they were outside, she stopped, and put her hand up to his face and gently rested it there.

"Jackson, is there something wrong? I don't know, I can just tell you don't seem as calm and happy as you were before you went out to the car" she said, as she held her hand there, caressing his check with her thumb.

[Jackson Poe]

Jackson was glad to get out of there actually, what with that phone call stopping him in his happy moment. He just wanted to get away from civilization, and wrap himself in the arms of Emma. Jackson could feel her eyes on him the whole way to the car. So he wasn't surprised that she stopped as they hit outside the building, and asked him if something was wrong. The feel of her hand on his face soothed his current emotional status. Smiling instantly, Jackson put on his brave voice, "Sure. I am with you, aren't I? I just had a fantastic two hour set in front of an audience. What more can I ask for?" With that Jackson decided to end it off with a long, lingering kiss.

Once they parted, Jackson opened the door for Emma to get in. As she looked away, Jackson let out a deep breath, and looked around in the night. Thinking to himself, he wondered if it was better for him to speak to Emma about a part of his past. Shaking his head, Jackson shut her door, and walked around to the driver's side, and hopped in. As he closed his door, Jackson turned to face Emma, and gave her a reassuring smile.

The whole drive back to his place was quiet. Jackson was lost in thought. He wondered how that person got his phone number, seeing it was different to the one he had when he knew them. Occassionally Jackson wondered what they might want with him now, since he hadn't spoken to them for a couple of years. Halfway back to his place, Jackson decided to be the first to start a conversation with Emma.

"So what did you think of the song selection and order of the playlist tonight? I think it worked well, though I am thinking for next time that I might make up an acoustic mix of 'I Got You' and 'I Stand For You'. What do you think?" As he waited for Emma to answer, Jackson decided to turn on the radio, turning the volumn down so that it didn't overpower their conversation. He knew that this was not the kind of conversation that Emma wanted to really hear from Jackson. She probably wanted to know why he was acting a little different.

[emma]

Emma waited for Jackson's response to her question, however when he answered, his answer wasn't what she had intended to hear. It was almost as if he was trying to avoid it, Emma could somehow sense it, and yet at the same time she didn't want to push it, for fear of upsetting him. But she had told him her secret pretty much on the first night, if Jackson was harbouring one now it would have been nice to be told. She sighed gently, "Well if you're sure" she replied, in an unsure voice, as he leaned in to give her a lingering kiss to which she responded back.

Emma stepped into the car when Jackson held the door open for her, but once inside, she began to wonder what was wrong with him. She knew there was something wrong, she could just sense it. The silence in the car wasn't helping much either, because it was making Emma think, and the thoughts going through her head were not good ones. What if he was married, and had a family elsewhere? After all, she was a little bit younger than him, of that she knew. However, she shook her head, he wouldn't do that to her, would he?

She was just about to ask the question about what was wrong, when he spoke to her first. Of course it was a complete change of subject, which made Emma sigh inwardly a little, she loved Jackson, but she felt like she was missing out on something when he wouldn't tell her what was obviously bothering him. Again she didn't press the subject even though somewhere inside it was the one thing she wanted to do.

"I thought you were wonderful tonight as always Jackson" Emma replied in a soft voice, voice tinged with sadness because she hated being left out of the loop. "Worked very well I thought" she added, and then he mentioned the songs for next time in an acoustic version, she gave him a warmer smile, she really had to stop feeling so bad, everybody were entitled to have their secrets right? "I think that would be wonderful Jackson" she replied, and gave him another smile, as she listened to the music which was now playing softly in the background.

She really hoped this wasn't going to spoil their night, they seldom got the chance to spend much one on one time together, and she had been really looking forward to this. But somehow she felt like there was a slight atmosphere going down now she really didn't want to let it spoil their evening.

[Jackson Poe]

Jackson was glad that she liked his playlist for that last gig. When she smiled, he thought that she was only doing that to hide her concerns. Jackson didn't think this was the time to bring up the past - the past that was way before he even met Emma. He didn't want to ruin this time together. The last time he saw her was like almost a week ago. He hated being away from her, also hated keeping things from her. Jackson knew that he had to tell her...but maybe later.

The last 10 minutes of the trip was again quiet, except for the music playing the background. As they were almost back to his place, a song came on, which reminded him of that other person who was on the phone tonight. Jackson reached for the button quickly to change the channel, without giving Emma an explanation. When an upbeat song came on, Jackson let out a short breath, and drove into the garage of his place. He turned to Emma, as he turned the car's engine when they stopped, "Home sweet home." Jackson smiled tenderly at her, and gave her a quick kiss.

Jackson got out of the car, and quickly jogged around to Emma's passenger door, holding it open for her. Once the door was closed, he went around to the front of the house, and unlocked the wooden door. Jackson let Emma go inside first, and then closed and locked the door behind himself. Placing the keys on the side table, parallel to the lounge room, Jackson pondered on how great Emma looked tonight.

He had always thought she looked great, and dressed well, but something about tonight, he just thought she looked gorgeous. He watched her, as he moved into the lounge room, almost catching his breath as her hair shone in the light. "Gorgeous," Jackson muttered under his breath. Then realised that Emma would have heard him. He hadn't done that in so long, and somehow he forgot that he shouldn't do that around her.

He smiled a small smile at Emma, just knowing that she had heard him, and sat himself down on the 3-seater lounge. Jackson gestured for her to sit, wanting to be close to her right now.

[emma]

The remainder of the journey back to Jackson's house was a quiet one. Emma didn't always hate silences, but this one for some reason just felt awkward, probably because she knew fine well there was a problem with Jackson even if he wasn't willing to admit it yet. What ever it was, she could only hope it wouldn't spoil what they had going for them now. She would be devastated if it did, because Emma really felt she and Jackson had something special going. She didn't want to waste a moment of that.

She noticed when he quickly changed the station when a particular song came on, which made Emma raise her eyebrow, but she refrained from saying anything. What ever was bothering Jackson, he would tell her when he was ready. She was sure of it, or at least she hoped he would. She felt like she could tell Jackson anything, and had hoped he would feel the same way with her too.

They were soon back at his place and he had said 'home sweet home', well it was certainly his sweet home anyway, but Emma didn't mind that, she actually hated living in her own apartment now, especially since she'd met Jackson, but she'd never hint at moving in together, that would just be too much to expect of him. At least she could get to see him as much as she could when they had the chance. He gave her a quick kiss and she responded by kissing him back.

She then stepped out the car and followed him into his apartment and made their way into his lounge room. As they did so, she immediately heard him muttering under his breath about how gorgeous she was. Of course she felt herself blush, and she was quite impressed, he hadn't said anything under his breath for quite some time now. He knew it too with the sheepish smile he gave her. "Why thank you Jackson Poe, you're rather handsome yourself you know" she said in her very obvious English accent. Sometimes her accent was more clear than other times. This was one time it was very clear.

When he gestured for her to sit down next to him, she did and she instinctively leaned her head on his shoulder and smiled up at him. "Alone at last" she said simply, as she allowed her arm to drape across him and held her hand to his chest so she could feel his heartbeat against the palm of her hand.

[Jackson Poe]

Jackson felt like he was in his own little world right there and then. Just him, Emma, and no one else. Just sitting there on the lounge, with Emma's head on his shoulder, and her warm smile brightening up the room and warming his heart. He nodded when Emma said that they were alone at last. Then she placed her arm over him, and felt her hand rest on his chest. Her touch, even though over his clothes, felt reassuring. Maybe this was the time to tell her about his snippet of past he was holding.

"Emma, I need to tell you something." Jackson felt his heart beat a little fast, wondering how she would take the news of his past. But he then thought back when Emma shared a secret about her when they initially met. So he felt that he had nothing to lose. Jackson moved around, to face Emma, letting her hand moved from his chest. He felt his face get all serious, but he knew that what he was about to say was a serious matter.

Not wanting to wait for her response, Jackson went in for the news which may turn their relationship around. "Earlier I received a phone call, when I went out to put my things in the car. The person on the other end was a women, who I was in a relationship with about 2 years ago. I don't know how she found me, but she did." Jackson looked away from Emma's gaze, let out a breath, and then kept going. "Now the relationship ended badly. After almost 6 months of being together, I found out that she was pregnant. At the time I wasn't ready to settle down, and I thought it was best for me, and my future career to leave. I felt bad for doing it when she was like the way she was, but...."

Jackson couldn't continue that bit of his past, so decided to skip what he was feeling back then, and just say the rest. "Her family didn't like what I did, and said to me that if anything happened to her with my breaking up with her, then they would track me down. The night we first met I got a call, but no one answered. I did wonder if it was connected to my past, but then nothing happened, so I thought nothing much of it. But then tonight, hearing her voice, I just had to say something to you, tonight."

Looking at Emma, he decided to ask her something, "I hope you don't think less of me now. I totally understand if you want to get up and leave me right now. I truly believe that if that had happened to me right this minute, knowing that you were her, and you were carrying my child, I would be by your side through it all. I have to admit, I have grown up since then." Jackson grabbed a hold of Emma's hand, trying to reassure her of what he just said, meaning every word.

[emma]

Emma was quite happy with the way she and Jackson were cuddled together on his sofa quite happy to stay that way for the rest of the night if need be. However, after a short while Jackson said he had something he had to tell her. She did begin to panic slightly having a feeling it was with regards to how he had been reacting earlier on the way home. Home, had she just thought that word? On the way to his apartment, it wasn't her home after all.

He turned to face her, and she could tell he was going to get all serious on her. This was it, this was the whole I'm married and I shouldn't be doing this conversation. She could feel it in her bones. Or at least she thought she could. As he shifted to face her, her hand dropped from his chest, and she looked at him with just a serious a face as he was looking at her.

She didn't speak once, instead just listening to everything he said. A few times she raised her eyebrow, or would give a sympathetic smile, but mostly she just nodded her head in acknowledgment so he would know she was actually listening to him and he wasn't just talking for no reason at all. How could she walk away from him? How could she walk away from what they had? She was certain she was in love with Jackson and you just don't walk away from love because you hit a rough spot. So when Jackson took her hand in his own, she immediately covered it with her other hand and clasped his between her own.

She searched his face with her eyes. "Apart from the fact you have a son or daughter out there you don't know and never met which I think is actually rather sad, for you, I have no problem with this."

She wasn't finished though, as she took in a deep breath, and faced him again, "Jackson when I met you, I knew you there was a significant age difference between us, I'd have been crazy not to think there would be history with you, of course I knew there would be, we can all make mistakes no matter how huge, I'm not going anywhere, I couldn't, I'm too in love with you" Emma said, and then realised she had actually said it to him, she didn't believe she had said it to him quite like that before.

But it was how she felt, so why hide it from him? "Actually in many ways I'd love nothing more than to have a child with you Jackson, but I would never push you into it, I would never push you into making any decision, but I'll always stand by you."

With that she felt she had to reassure him, so she took her hands away from his and gently placed them on his face, pulling him closer to her and kissed him. She was glad that he had finally told her what was on his mind, she'd have hated to be shut out of it.

[Jackson Poe]

Jackson felt a big relief lift off of his shoulders. He had finally told Emma about his past, and he was glad of that. He let out a breath, waiting for her to say anything about what he said. She had nodded and smiled, doing a lot of non verbal gesturing, so Jackson knew that she was trying to take everything in that he was saying. The whole time he wondered what she was thinking. He hoped that she didn't think of him as some scumbag who was just out to knocked girls up, and then leave. Jackson thought more of women than that.

Then she said the thing that he didn't expect. She had no problem with what he had done in the past. Jackson gave her a weak smile at that, giving her some sign as to that he was glad that she felt that way. What else could he do, he was still feeling a little numb from the emotions all flooding back from those days when he found out about the baby, and then getting away from it all. He felt bad for doing, but he knew it was the best for him.

As he contemplated on asking her about what he should do, he heard her say that she wasn't going anyway, because she was too in love with him. With this last remake, Jackson looked straight at Emma, knowing exactly what to say to that. "Emma, I truly love you too. I also am aware of the age difference, but most of the time it disappears, and all we have is each other and our feelings for one another. Nothing more. I don't care what others think, all I see is love not the difference."

Emma then went on about how she would love nothing more then to have a child with him. He was glad that she said that she would never push him into it. Then she said she would stand by him. The thought of her carrying his child made him have a silly grin on his face. It was a nice image to have in his head. Jackson knew he was getting on in age, and he was always hoping to have a family started before he turned 30, which really wasn't that far away. But then he thought about Emma's career, and what that would do to her ice skating. They wouldn't allow her to train and compete in that condition.

As Jackson thought about talking about that further, she took her hands and placed them on his face, and pulled him closer for a kiss. He returned her kiss with a more passionate kiss. He felt like this was the moment when he was really in love with Emma. He felt his kisses become more passionate, and inviting, feeling his tongue begin to play in her mouth. He moved his hands from where they were to her body, where he pulled her into a hug as they kissed.

After what seemed like an eternity, Jackson moved himself apart from Emma, and then decided to further talk about what she had said. "You mentioned about wanting nothing more than to have a child with me. I have to confess that I had an image in my head revolving around that scenario. But then I got thinking about what would happen with your ice skating. Suring that would sadly take a back seat if you were pregnant. I would never want to jepordise your chances for anything like you competing or anything. But the thought of you carrying my child, does sound nice."

[emma]

When Emma had told Jackson she loved him she had been a little worried about how he would take it and what his response would be. However she needn't have worried because Jackson told her he loved her too, which made Emma's face light up. He also spoke of the age difference but he was quick to say it didn't bother him which made Emma smile all the more.

"It's exactly how I feel Jackson, I did wonder about the age thing at the start, but I soon realised love conquers everything, and all I see is you and that I love you and I don't care what others think either." It felt good to have this conversation, it felt good to finally let Jackson know how she felt. She was so glad he felt the same way too because right now Emma felt she had met somebody she could love and live with for the rest of her life.

When Emma had put her hands to his face to pull him into a kiss, he kissed her back with passion. Naturally Emma returned the passion and invited the kiss, by allowing her own tongue to explore his mouth just as his was exploring her mouth. He pulled her into a hug as the kiss continued, and in that moment Emma knew she didn't want to be with anybody else ever.

After a while they gently broke apart from the passionate embrace for air if not for anything else, but Jackson chose that moment to ask her a question referring to her statement about saying she'd love nothing more than to have a baby with him. When she said it, she hadn't thought about having one immediately, thinking Jackson would be too interested in getting his singing career off the ground.

However he was asking how having a child would affect her and her ice skating, and in the moment when she said it, she hadn't even given it a second thought, and that's when she realised it couldn't have been as much of a love of hers as she initially thought. She looked him seriously in the eye, holding his hand in her own. "Jackson, why don't we just let nature take it's course if you're ready, when you're ready and if it happens, it happens. I can always take a sabbatical from ice dancing for a year, I'm young, I've got plenty ice staking years left in me."

[Jackson Poe]

Jackson was waiting for Emma to say something like, "I think I would prefer to hold off after my career is over." But he was happy that she was willing to put her chosen career on hold to do that with him. He didn't know whether it would happen now, or 6 months down the track. All Jackson knew at that very moment was that he truly did love Emma, and the thought of being intimate with her was on the cards. He recalled her saying that she didn't want to rush him or push him, which he was glad of. But thinking about it more now, Jackson wondered if he was ready for the next step, even if they had only been together for a month.

Jackson gently squeezed Emma's hand, and smiled warmly at her. "That is a good idea. But you should know that at this moment I think..." He looked down, biting the inside of his lip, and then looking back at her. "...I think that I am ready to go to the next step." Jackson hoped he wasn't being too forward, which was not like him. But being with Emma, he felt that he was so comfortable with her, and was so at ease with himself. He had never felt this way before. Jackson then lent in and gave Emma another long, deep kiss.

All things were swimming around in Jackson's head. He kept thinking that he was rushing into this relationship, that was going so well. Then the thought of his now public singing career, and how it was being well responded to by the newly formed fans. But then Jackson then thought about Emma, gorgeous Emma. His girl right now, who was everything to him. He didn't want to lose her, thinking he was going to before when he opened up to her.